Tom Barkley drove his sons
to school on Monday morning. That event
caused another eruption of Nick's temper.
The teen had been riding a horse to school from the first day he started
when he was six years old. Nick scowled
as he helped his father ready the wagon.
"You never took me to school on my
first day."
Tom looked across the horse he was
harnessing.
"That's
because you didn't want me to. You
insisted on riding Ginger along side Jarrod."
"Why can't Heath ride Ginger then and
I'll ride Coco?"
"That's how we'll do things tomorrow
if Heath wants to. But for today we're
doing things my way."
"Why?"
"Nicholas--"
"I'm just asking why."
"You know perfectly well why. This is Heath's first day at a school where
he knows no one other than you. I think
it will be easier for him if together, you and I, introduce him to Miss
Wellington and the other pupils."
"I still don't understand why I
have to be a part of this. Why can't I
go on ahead and meet up with my friends like I do any other morning?"
Tom took a deep breath. Jarrod had never given him these kinds of
problems when he was Nick's age, nor did Tom recall ever giving his own father
any back talk. But Thor...well Thor had
been another story and Nick was just like his uncle in more ways than one.
"You have to be a part of this because
whether you like it or not you're Heath's brother. End of discussion."
"Well, I don't like it. I don't like being Heath's brother one teeny
tiny bit."
"Nick, I said end of discussion."
"But--"
"Nicholas, that's enough."
Tom glared at his sullen teenager. His gaze shifted when he caught sight of
Victoria in the doorway of the barn.
Heath was with her carrying a new slate in one hand and the tin lunch
bucket Jarrod had used in another. By
the look on Victoria's face Tom knew she and the boy had been privy to Nick's
words.
The rancher put on his best grin. "There's my boy. And don't you look just dandy on your first
day of school."
Heath didn't say anything as Tom swung him
up onto the wagon seat. Before Nick
could escape to the back of the wagon Tom said, "Nick, you drive."
Indecision hung heavy in the air. There was nothing Nick liked more than
driving a team of horses, yet his pride dictated that he wasn't allowed to find
any enjoyment in this day.
Tom didn't stand for further argument. He climbed up on the seat next to Heath,
leaving room for Nick to his left. He
leaned over with the reins in his hand.
"Nick, come on. We need to get going."
Nick finally took the reins from his father
and climbed up beside him.
Victoria patted her teenager's leg.
"Have a good day." She smiled at Heath. "You have a good day, too, Heath. I'm sure you'll come home with all sorts of wonderful stories
about your new school."
Heath simply nodded his head. Whatever he was feeling inside about this
adventure he'd kept to himself. He
hadn't even allowed Tom to draw him into a conversation about attendance at
Stockton's school no matter how many times Tom had tried to bring the subject
up.
Tom timed the trip so he and his sons would
arrive at the schoolhouse before any other children were there. Nick insisted on waiting in the schoolyard
for his friends while Tom took Heath inside to introduce him to Miss
Wellington.
The
father allowed his teenager this much.
He wasn’t in the mood for any more tension between himself and his son.
Stockton's teacher was nineteen years old
with hair the color of burnished copper and laughing Irish green eyes to
match. She barely reached Tom's chest
in height, and had the fine bones of a filly.
This was her second year at Stockton's school and she was loved by all
her pupils. The little ones adored her
because she made learning fun and was devoted to them and their
well-being. The older girls admired her
and wanted to be just like her, while the older boys had crushes on this
beautiful young woman who hailed from New York City.
Tom was president of the school board and
had been instrumental in bringing Kathleen Wellington to them. He was pleased with her performance thus far
and could only pray she wouldn't marry any time soon and leave them.
Miss Wellington turned from the blackboard
when she heard footsteps on the wooden floor.
"Mr. Barkley." The girl stepped out from behind her
desk. "How nice to see you. And this must be Heath."
Tom had spoken to the teacher the previous
week. Although he'd said no more than,
"I'd like to enroll my eight year old son, Heath, to start school on
Monday," gossip had already reached the young woman's ears in regards to
Heath's sudden appearance. That made no
difference to Kathleen. She loved her
pupils and wasn't concerned with the circumstances that brought them to her.
"Yes," Tom confirmed now. "This is Heath. Heath, this is Miss Wellington."
Heath held his hand out to the
teacher. "How do you do,
ma'am?"
"I'm fine, Heath. Thank you for asking. Your father tells me the teacher at the
Strawberry school said you’re advanced in your sums and reading."
"Yes, ma'am."
"That's excellent, Heath. Positively excellent. You'll be a big help to me with some of the
younger pupils. Would you like to be a
tutor?"
"I can be if you want me to. I helped my friends, Tony and John, at the
Strawberry school. They didn't know how
to read very well and they had problems with their sums. Sometimes Mr. Evans would ask me to take
them to the back of the room and work with them."
"That's wonderful. I can already tell you're the kind of boy I
can rely on." The teacher took
Heath's hand, for the moment Tom was forgotten.
"Now this is where you'll sit. Raleigh and Rhodes Manners will share this
desk with you. And over here is where
we put our lunch buckets. And the cloak
room is right there, behind that door."
Miss Wellington had Heath set his slate on
his desk and put his lunch bucket on the shelf at the back of the room.
"Why don't you go outside until I ring
the bell. I see some of the other
children are arriving. I'm sure Nick
will introduce you to them."
Heath turned to look at Tom. The man gave his son an encouraging
smile. "Go on and play until
school starts. You met Raleigh and Rhodes
at church yesterday. I know they'll be
waiting for you. I'll be back at the
end of the day to pick you and Nick up."
Heath gave his father a smile that didn't
do a good job of covering his fear. Tom
could only imagine how scared he must be at the prospect of facing all those
strange children. The man walked over
and bent down.
"You'll be fine, Heath. Why I bet by the end of the day you'll have
made friends with every child in this school."
Heath didn't tell his father what he was
thinking. So far he hadn't even been
able to make friends with Nick.
The boy turned and headed out the
door. The sounds of laughter and shouts
drifted in to Tom and Miss Wellington until the door was closed behind Heath.
"He'll be all right, Mr.
Barkley," the young teacher assured.
"Entering a new school is difficult for any child. But the records you brought me from
Strawberry indicate Heath is a bright child who makes friends easily. It won't take him long to fit in."
“I’m sure it won’t.” Tom tipped his hat to the woman. "Thank you for taking the time to make
him feel welcome. If you have any problems
I'll be here at three to pick the boys up."
"Now don't you worry, I'm sure there
won't be any problems. Or at least not
any I can't handle."
Tom left without saying anything further to
either of his sons. Nick was playing
stickball with a group of teenage boys while Heath watched. Tom wished his eight year old would join the
other boys his age who were playing hot potato in another section of the
schoolyard, but decided not to interfere.
No doubt Miss Wellington was correct.
By the end of the day Heath would have more friends than he could count.
Ten minutes after Tom left Miss Wellington
stepped out on the porch with a bell in her hand. She gave it six healthy rings.
In groups of twos and threes her pupils headed for the schoolhouse save
for Heath. He walked alone, lagging
behind the four boys and three girls who were nearest his age.
Nick turned when he heard footsteps pound
from behind. George Barnsworth joined
Nick and his friends.
"Hey, Barkley, is that mangy little
pup walkin' ahead of us your father's bastard?"
Franklin Manners glared at the bulky
fifteen-year old. "Shut up,
George."
George ignored the younger boy. "How 'bout it, Barkley? Whatta ya’ have to say on the subject? Is the kid your father's mistake?"
Heath turned around and looked at
Nick. Nick refused to meet his
brother's eyes when he dropped his own to the ground and mumbled, "Yeah.
Yeah, that's about the size of it."
George gave Heath a shove as the older boys
passed him.
"Bastard."
The eight year old stood alone, watching
his schoolmates trot up the steps. Miss
Wellington waved him over.
"Come on, Heath! It's time for school to start."
She gave Heath's shoulder a squeeze when he
walked by her. She hadn't heard the exchange
between George and Nick, but had observed it from afar. She'd also observed the shove George had
given Heath. She didn't have to be
close enough to hear George's words to be able to guess what was said. Every school had a bully and George Barnsworth
was Stockton's. Whenever he thought she
wasn't looking he pulled girls' pigtails, dropped frogs down dresses, slipped
snakes into coat pockets, and put his foot in the aisle to trip a child who'd
been called to the blackboard. She
generally broke up fights between him and Nick Barkley at least once every two
weeks. Though she had to be fair and
punish both boys when these incidents occurred, she hated having to keep Nick
after school. She couldn't fault him
for defending a younger boy George was picking on or coming to the honor of a
girl whose skirts George was trying to peek under. That's why she'd been shocked when Nick had allowed George to
shove Heath. At that moment she was
certain she'd see a fist fight of violent proportions ensue. But Nick simply headed for the schoolhouse
as though nothing happened.
For now Miss Wellington filed the incident
away in the back of her mind. She led
Heath to the bench seat he'd share with the Manners twins, then walked to the
front of the class. The young teacher
opened her Bible and instructed everyone to stand. They began the day by saying the 23rd Psalm. She watched Heath
stand with his classmates, though his mouth didn't move throughout the entire
recitation. A lesser teacher might have
called the child on his seeming defiance, but Miss Wellington didn't.
After all, how could she discipline a
little boy who was trying so hard not to cry?
The next morning Heath and Nick rode to
school on their horses. Tom Barkley
wasn't certain if that's what Heath really wanted to do. He got the impression the boy was simply
trying to please his fourteen-year old brother.
"I can hitch up the wagon and we can
ride into town together, Heath. Nick can go ahead on Coco if he prefers."
"No, that's okay, Papa. I can ride Ginger."
Tom didn't debate the point further. He thought it would be good for both boys if
they traveled back and forth to school together. Maybe some of Nick's animosity would recede if he was given the
opportunity to get to know Heath on his own terms.
Unbeknownst to Tom, Nick had no intention
of getting to know Heath. He dug his
heals into Coco's sides and stayed thirty feet ahead of his brother throughout
the entire trip to school. The boys
tied their horses to a hitching post under a shade tree. Nick went and got a bucket of water from the
well in order to fill the trough while Heath readied the feed pouches they'd
brought along. The horses were tended
to in silence. When the animals had
been watered and the feed pouches attached to their halters the boys retrieved
their books and lunch tins from their saddlebags.
George Barnsworth ran by them. He knocked Heath in the back of the head
with his fist while calling to Nick.
"Hey, Barkley, come on! Let's get a game of stickball going! Leave the work to the kid! After all, no one's gonna want to play with
him anyway!"
Heath bent down to pick up his cowboy
hat. By the time he had it settled back
on his head Nick was playing ball with the older boys.
George had fun at Heath's expense
throughout the day. The boy was tripped
on his way to the blackboard, his lunch bucket was hidden and his horse
untied. Fortunately Ginger had been
coming to Stockton's school since Jarrod was boy so didn't wander more than a
few feet from Coco.
At the end of that second day Heath passed
George on his way down the schoolhouse steps.
The older boy matched strides with the younger.
"So, kid, when Miss Wellington takes roll
I hear her call you Heath Barkley. But
Barkley ain't your real name now, is it?
I hear tell your name is Heath Thomson.
And if it's Heath Thomson, how can you go around claimin' to be a
Barkley? 'Course everyone knows the
Barkleys got loads of money so maybe you're not as dumb as you look, huh? As a matter of fact you might be one of the
luckiest little bastards around. On the
other hand, I bet Mrs. Barkley ain't none too happy you showed up. I hear tell she don't like you one
bit. Not that anyone can blame
her. You're living proof that her
husband had himself some big time fun outside the sacred marital bed. Whatta ya' got to say about that?"
Heath kept his eyes on the ground as he
walked toward Ginger.
George back peddled in front of the eight
year old and rammed a fist into his shoulder.
"What
was that? I didn't hear you."
Again Heath made no reply.
"What's
the problem? Are you the family
retard? Man, wouldn't that be
something. Everyone's brags on Jarrod
cause he's got more brains than just about anyone in Stockton, and Nick...well
Nick ain't far behind Jarrod in the smarts department, that's for sure. And everyone knows Tom Barkley ain't no
dummy. But I do say it looks like he
got himself a dummy for a bastard son."
George pushed Heath backwards. The boy stumbled over his feet. Before he could regain his balance he was
pushed again. Two more hard shoves
landed him on his rear end in the dirt.
A thick wad of spittle kicked up the dust
by Heath's head. George sneered down at
the blond.
"You really are a retard, you
know that?"
It wasn't Nick who came to Heath's aid, but
rather his new friends Raleigh and Rhodes.
Raleigh helped him to his feet while Rhodes collected Heath’s
schoolbooks. Nick made no comment about
what he'd seen happen until he and Heath were stabling their horses at the
Barkley ranch. As the teenager was
walking out of the barn he turned.
"You're going to have to learn to take
care of yourself against the likes of George Barnsworth, ‘cause if you think
I'm gonna get in a fight for you you'd better think again."
Heath watched his brother until Nick
disappeared into the house. The boy let
out a heavy sigh, then finished currying Ginger.
Two weeks after Heath started school Miss
Wellington paid the Barkley ranch a visit on a Saturday afternoon.
Silas motioned Victoria to stay seated as
he passed through the parlor on the way to the door.
"Miss Wellington," the black man greeted. "Won't you come in, ma’am?"
Victoria set her book down on the coffee
table and stood. She met the young
teacher half way across the foyer
floor, briefly clasping her hand.
"Miss Wellington. How nice to see you."
"It's nice to see you, too, Mrs.
Barkley. And I do apologize for
dropping by without an invitation."
"You never need an invitation to drop
by my home and you know it."
Victoria turned to Silas. "Please put on some tea, Silas. And bring a tray of cookies."
"Yes, ma'am."
"There's no need to go to any trouble
on my behalf, Mrs. Barkley."
"It's no trouble at all," Silas
assured the woman for his mistress.
Victoria led the teacher to the sofa.
"I hope I didn't come at a bad
time."
"No.
Not at all. Audra is upstairs
napping and Tom is in the study reading the latest Cattlemen’s Journal. But if you're here to see the boys I'm
afraid you've missed them. Nick is
tracking down strays with some of the hands and Heath is playing with Rhodes
and Raleigh over at the Manners ranch."
"Actually I'm glad to hear that. I wanted to talk to you and Mr. Barkley
alone."
"Oh?"
"Yes.
It's about Heath."
"I see." Victoria stood. "Wait here just a moment please while I get my
husband."
"Of course."
Within seconds Victoria returned with
Tom. He shook the teacher's hand then
took a seat across from her. Victoria
helped Silas carry in the tea and cookies.
She played the part of hostess, seeing that everyone got a cup of tea
and plate of sugar cookies. The trio
made small talk while they enjoyed the snack.
Tom waited until the teacher had finished her tea and refused seconds
before broaching the reason behind her visit.
"My wife tells me you wanted to speak
to us about Heath."
"Yes, I did. Though now that I'm here I...well I hope I'm not overstepping my
bounds."
"Overstepping your bounds?"
"Yes.
By coming here to tell you what I've observed."
Tom smiled in an attempt to put the young
woman at ease.
"You're
Heath's teacher. It's your place to
tell us, as his parents, what you've observed.
I hope he's not causing you any trouble."
"Heath?"
Victoria
heard the astonishment in the teacher's tone.
"Oh my goodness no. He's such a sweet child. And just as smart as his school records from
Strawberry indicate. A little on the
shy side, but I suppose that's normal considering he's come to a new school in
the middle of the term."
"He's a little on the shy side here at
home, too," Tom said. "But
then I suppose that's normal considering we're new to him as well."
"You can rest assured Heath's school
work has been exemplary. I don't
believe you'll have reason to be concerned in that area."
"Then where do we have reason
to be concerned?" Victoria asked.
"I...I don't know if you have reason
to be concerned at all. However, as you
know the well-being of my pupils is of the utmost importance to me. So again, forgive me if I'm overstepping my
bounds by coming here today."
"You don't need to be forgiven for
anything, Kathleen," Tom assured.
"Why don't you simply tell Victoria and me what's on your
mind."
The woman thought a long moment before
speaking.
"Perhaps
I've been misleading when I say my concern is for Heath. Actually, I've come to speak to you about
Nick as well."
"Nick?"
"Yes.
As both of you know I've broken up several fights between Nick and
George Barnsworth during my year and half at the school."
Victoria tried not to smile. "As have all the teachers prior to your
arrival."
"Yes...well...I know this is going to
sound rather absurd, but what has me upset this time is the fact that Nick isn't
fighting with George."
Tom cocked his head. "Pardon?"
"Though I try hard to like all my
pupils, I must admit George is a trail.
I'm told every school has a George Barnsworth. A mean-spirited bully shall we say."
"Yes," Tom nodded, "if I recall my own school days
correctly I would have to agree with that statement."
"Therefore, it will probably come as
no surprise to you that George has taken to picking on Heath. He started the first day Heath was with us
and he has yet to let up."
"Picking on Heath how?" Victoria asked.
"Shoving him. Tripping him. Untying his horse. Hiding
his lunch bucket, things of that nature.
The frustrating part of it is I rarely see George do these things. He's a sneaky boy who knows how to cause
trouble on the sly. Nonetheless, I have
no doubt George is the instigator behind these pranks. And I've heard him say some nasty things to
Heath out on the school yard."
"Nasty things?" Tom asked.
"What kind of nasty things?"
The teacher's eyes flicked to
Victoria. "Just...things."
"Miss Wellington...Kathleen,"
Victoria smiled. "You can repeat
whatever it is you've heard. You won't
offend me or my husband by telling us what George has been saying to
Heath."
"He. . ." Kathleen didn't know how to start. After all, Heath was the product of Tom
Barkley's affair. How could she lay such
a sensitive subject on the table in a diplomatic way?
"Go ahead, Kathleen," Victoria
urged. "Tell us please. We can't help Heath unless you do."
The young woman nodded. "George...he teases Heath about his
parentage. I've heard George call him
the 'Barkley retard' and the 'Barkley mistake'. Mind you this has never been done in the schoolhouse, but always
before or after class out in the yard.
I have spoken to George about it but that only seems to make matters
worse. I've contemplated punishing him,
but I'm afraid he'll only lash out more severely at Heath if I do."
Tom shifted in his chair and set his cup on
the coffee table. "And where has
Nick been when all this is going on?"
"Out on the schoolyard as well."
"So he's heard and observed the same
things you have."
"Yes."
"And that's why you've come to talk to
us today," Tom said. "You're
upset because Nick isn't defending his brother's honor. Because Nick is allowing George to have his
say."
"Yes.
Though I'm not blaming Nick.
Like I said, I can hardly punish Nick for not fighting with
George. I just find it...odd that he
isn't."
Tom chewed on his lower lip a long
time. He had no immediate solution to
offer the teacher. She seemed to sense
as much and rose.
"I've taken up enough of your Saturday
afternoon. I must be going. I promised Mr. and Mrs. Harris I'd come for
supper this evening."
Tom stood and shook the teacher's
hand. "Thank you for coming all
the way out here to speak with us. I
appreciate your insight."
"You're welcome. And I can assure you I'll keep an eye on
George where Heath is concerned. I try
to look out for all my students, but with twenty-six that task isn't always as
easy as I'd like it to be."
"No, I'm sure it's not. Which is exactly why Heath has an older
brother who should be looking out for him."
"Please don't come down too hard on
Nick, Mr. Barkley. Like I said, we
can't really fault him for not getting into a fight. I'm sure this situation has been difficult on him." The teacher's face reddened as she realized
her slip of the tongue. "On all of
you."
Victoria stood and put an arm around the
young woman's shoulders.
"Yes,
it has been difficult for Nick no doubt.
And don't you worry; we don't blame him for anything. Like my husband said, we appreciate you
coming out here to talk to us. Now why
don't you pencil in dinner right here on the Barkley ranch for next Saturday
night. We'd love to have you come on a
social visit. Nick really enjoyed it
the last time you were here. I'm sure
both he and Heath will want to engage you in a game of checkers while hearing
all about life in New York City."
"Thank you, Mrs. Barkley. As always, you're too kind."
Victoria led the teacher to the door. When it had closed behind the woman she
turned to see her husband staring into the fireplace. She walked up beside him and snaked an arm around his waist.
"What are you thinking?"
"That my foolish actions have caused
an eight year old boy an untold amount of pain. That my foolish actions have caused a fourteen year old boy an
untold amount of pain." The man
planted a light kiss in his wife's hair.
"And that my foolish actions have caused the woman I love an untold
amount of pain."
The couple stood together until Victoria
heard a wail from above.
"It sounds like Audra's awake. What are you going to say to Nick when he
gets home?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"I can't make him fight for Heath,
Victoria. As much as I hate to say this
I can't make him love his little brother.
Those are things Nick will be drawn to do naturally in time, or they
won't be. I can't predict what the
future holds for any of us. And if
anyone should be punished for this heartache it should be me."
Without saying another word Tom walked away
from his wife, his shoulders slumped in sorrow and defeat. He entered his study and closed the
door.
Victoria hesitated before climbing the
stairs to Audra. She wanted to offer
her husband comfort, but had no idea what words to say that hadn't already been
said many times since Heath arrived.
Heath had been with the Barkley family two
months as Christmas approached. He
continued to excel in school, though his problems with George Barnsworth hadn’t
ceased. Yet Heath never spoke of the
bully to Tom, nor how much it hurt him when Nick pretended not to hear George's
teasing.
Despite Victoria's best efforts Heath
remained aloof in her presence. She had
been certain that by now he would have come to accept her as his surrogate
mother. Yet he never spoke to her
unless she spoke to him first, and he never allowed himself to be in the house
alone with her.
Aside from Tom, Audra, and Silas, the only
other members of the Barkley household Heath appeared to be comfortable with
were Jarrod's dogs and their offspring.
Without fail he fed and watered the brood every morning and every
evening. If he wasn't playing with the
puppies, or cleaning horse stalls, then he could be found in the tack room
straightening and sweeping.
On December twenty-second Tom hitched up
the buggy and went to town to meet Jarrod's train. Silas and Victoria worked together in the kitchen cooking all
Jarrod's favorite foods. Nick lingered
around the house and ranch yard, anxiously awaiting his older brother's arrival
while Heath retreated to the barn without anyone noticing he was gone.
At the first sight of the black buggy
entering through the main gates Nick raced into the steamed filled
kitchen.
"They're
coming, Mother! They're coming!"
Victoria scooped Audra up off the
floor. She was four steps behind Nick
all the way to the front door.
Jarrod had barely emerged from the buggy
before he was thrown backwards by the force of Nick's body.
"Jarrod! Jarrod!"
"Easy there," Jarrod laughed
while engulfing his younger brother in a bear hug. When he finally got the teenager to loosen his grip he took a
step back with his hands firmly grasping Nick’s upper arms.
"Nicholas, you've grown a foot since I
left for school. I do believe you'll be
taller than me when I come back again next summer."
Before Nick could reply Victoria launched
herself into the arms of her eldest child.
"Jarrod! Oh, sweetheart, it's so good to see you! We've missed you so much!"
"I've missed you, too,
Mother." The young man gave his
mother a kiss and long hug, then
tweaked Audra's nose. "And look
how big this beautiful little doll has gotten."
The baby held her arms out to her big
brother. She let Jarrod take her from
their mother, laughing and shrieking as he lifted her high above his head.
While Jarrod played with the little girl
Tom asked, "Where's Heath?"
"I don't know." Victoria looked at Nick. "Was Heath in the house?"
"No."
Tom took a few steps from the buggy. "He's probably in the barn." The man cupped his hands over his
mouth.
"Heath! Heath!"
Just the hint of a blond head peered around
a barn door.
"Heath, come here please."
Heath's steps were slow and tentative, eyes
downcast, as if he wasn't sure how he'd be greeted by this 'new' brother. Jarrod met him half way across the yard and
held out his hand.
"It's nice to finally get to meet you,
Heath. I've heard so much about
you."
Heath's eyes never lifted from the toes of
Jarrod's boots as he mumbled,
"Nice to meet you, too."
Jarrod exchanged a smile with his father,
then crouched down. He placed two
fingers under Heath's chin and gently urged the child to look at him.
"There now. That's better. I couldn't
see anything but the top of your head.
My, my, my, but don't you look like Grandpa Barkley."
"I don't know.” Heath shrugged his
shoulders. “I haven't met him yet. But maybe I kind of look like Audra."
"As a matter of fact I was just
thinking that same thing myself. I
can't wait to go back to school and tell my friends what a handsome young
brother I have." Jarrod stood and
took Heath's hand in his. "Father
says you've been taking care of Chief and Cheyenne for me."
"Yes.
And their puppies, too. I hope
that's all right."
"It is, and I thank you for it."
"I named the puppies, but if you don't
like their names you can change them."
"I'm sure I'll like them. Why don't you show them to me while you tell
me all about them."
Heath kept his hand in Jarrod’s as he led
the college man toward the barn. He
began describing the offspring of the animals Jarrod had bought from a fur
trader the previous summer despite Tom’s good-natured protests that two sled
dogs would be of little use on a cattle ranch.
"First there's Shone,” Heath
said. “She's a girl and she's very
sweet. Then there's Wolf. I named him that because he's always stealing
food from his brothers and sisters. The
comes White Foot because he has four white paws, then Bear because he's fat and
round and clumsy like a grizzly bear, then Little Maiden just because she's
tiny and real pretty. I gave all of
them Indian names because of Chief and Cheyenne."
"I couldn't have picked better names
myself. I can't wait to meet
them."
"I just finished feeding them and
cleaning their pen. I wanted them to
look nice for you as a welcome home present."
Jarrod gave Heath's hand a squeeze. "That's very kind of you, Heath. I appreciate your thoughtfulness."
The conversation faded as the two entered
the barn. Tom turned and smiled at
Victoria.
"It looks like Jarrod has already made
a life long friend."
Though inside Victoria was hurting at
Heath's instant attachment to Jarrod, she gave her husband a smile in
return. "Yes, it does. But then
that doesn't surprise me. Jarrod has
his father's gift when it comes to putting people at ease."
Nick scowled as he reached into the back of
the buggy and retrieved Jarrod's bags.
"I sure hope he doesn't plan to spend his entire vacation with
Heath. I was his brother first, you
know."
"Yes, Nick," Tom stated quietly,
"we know. And believe me, Jarrod
knows that as well. He has plenty of
activities planned for just the two of you.
But please, allow him some time to get acquainted with Heath and Heath
with him."
At the word 'activities' Nick perked up.
"Activities? What kind of activities?"
"Oh, I don't know. He mentioned something about the two of you
going to the dance in town next Saturday evening. And he said he got an invitation to a New Year's Eve party at the
Hansens' ranch that includes you."
Jarrod had been courting Melinda Hansen
before he went to college. Nick was
sweet on her youngest sister, Emily, who was in his class at school; though he
was under the assumption his family was unaware of this last fact.
"Yeah. Yeah, I guess I would like to go to that party with Jarrod. Does Heath have to come with us?"
"No," Victoria shook her head. "The party is for young adults
only. Franklin Manners was invited as
well. Your father and I have asked Mr.
and Mrs. Manners to come here for the evening.
We'll have our own little party with Heath, the twins, and Audra."
"Good."
Nick trotted into the house with Jarrod's
bags. Tom put an arm around his wife
and daughter.
"It's good to see Nick happy
again. I knew having Jarrod home would
help settle him down."
"Yes, Jarrod has that effect on
people. Which is exactly why he'll make
an outstanding lawyer."
"I expect nothing less from
him." Tom kissed his wife's
temple. "But then he was raised by
a wonderful mother. All the credit for
the man he's become belongs to you and you alone."
"I wouldn't go quite that far, Tom
Barkley."
"Don't even bother to argue with me,
lady, because it will do you not one ounce of good."
"All right, if you put it that way I
won't." Victoria turned for the
house. "I need to help Silas
finish the meal preparations. Your job
is to make sure all your sons are gathered around the table promptly at six
p.m."
"All my sons," Tom smiled. "That sounds wonderful."
With Christmas only three days away
Victoria hoped things would remain wonderful throughout Jarrod's stay
with them. Not that she had any
concerns about her oldest son, but Nick was so jealous of Heath, and if Heath
took to Jarrod and started tagging along after him...Victoria gave her head a
mental shake. There was no use
borrowing trouble.
Victoria watched as Tom disappeared into
the barn. Nick flew out the front door
and headed in that direction as well.
The woman smiled to herself, wondering if she'd be able to keep track of
four males throughout the next two weeks.
She turned to her daughter.
"I do believe we'll have our work cut
out for us, Audra."
For the first time since Heath had been
with them supper was a merry event.
When Jarrod saw the platters of food that stretched from one end of the
dining table to the other he declared his mother and Silas had already cooked
the Christmas feast. Jarrod's tales of
college life kept everyone spellbound.
He had a way of telling a story that made you laugh long before the
punch line arrived.
When it came time for Heath to go to bed it
was Jarrod who carried him up the stairs and read him a story. Tom engaged Nick in a game of checkers until
Jarrod returned.
Tom looked up as his eldest entered the
parlor.
"Heath asleep?"
"Sure is. He conked out half way through the book. I'll have to finish reading it to him
tomorrow evening."
It didn't surprise Victoria when Jarrod
seemed to sense Nick was now in need of his undivided attention. He clapped the fourteen year old on the
back.
"Come on, Nicholas. Let's go see if there's any cake left out in
the kitchen. Then you and I and Father
can play a few hands of cards before we call it a night."
Victoria smiled at her oldest from where
she sat rocking her youngest. Jarrod
pointed a finger at her.
"And I'd like to request a private
audience with you tomorrow, madam."
"I will grant you that request, kind
sir, and look forward to your visit."
Victoria remained in the rocking chair with
Audra sleeping on her shoulder. From her
position she could see the card players at the dining room table. She hated herself for the thought that
flitted through her mind when Nick laughed and teased his father over the poor
hand Tom had just played.
This is just like how it used to be before
Heath came to us. Nick was so
happy.
We...we were all so happy.
The family gathered together for breakfast
the next morning. Tom pushed his empty
plate aside and looked at Jarrod.
"What plans do you have for
today?"
"If you don't need my help with
anything specific I thought I'd go riding with my brothers."
Nick looked up from his eggs. "Heath, too?"
Jarrod cocked a teasing eyebrow. “I believe I said ‘my brothers’, Nick. As in plural. So yes, Heath is included, too.”
“Aw, Jarrod, come on. Why can’t it just be you and--
Victoria cleared her throat and shot Nick a
pointed look. Tom’s eyes slid to
Heath. The youngster was staring down
at his plate, the expression on his shadowed face saying he wished he wasn’t
once again the source of conflict in his new home.
Nick started over, attempting to present
his case with a bit more diplomacy and tact.
“What I mean is, Heath won’t be able to
keep up with us. You know how poky Ginger is.”
“Then Heath and I will ride double on
Jingo.”
“But I wanted to show you the new breeding
stock Father and I bought in September.”
“And you can’t show me that with Heath
along?”
“It’s not that. It’s just that...well, it’s just that I thought you and I were
going to spend some time together.”
Nick glared at the top of Heath’s head.
“Alone.”
“We will.”
Jarrod took a sip of his coffee.
“As a matter of fact I was planning on you accompanying me into Stockton
tonight.”
“For what?”
“Supper at the Cattlemen’s Hotel then a
trip to the
General
Store.”
“The General Store?”
“I need to finish my Christmas shopping.”
“Oh. Oh...okay. Yeah. That sounds like
fun.”
Tom smiled. “Good idea, Jarrod. I’ll dare
to go out on a limb and guess Nick hasn’t even begun his shopping yet.”
The man wiped his mouth with a napkin. He stood and kissed the top of Heath’s head
as he passed.
“Have fun with your brothers today.”
“Yes, sir.”
He kissed Victoria on the mouth, then gave
Audra’s jam covered cheek a peck. When
he came to Jarrod he squeezed the young man’s shoulders while saying quietly in
one ear, “Thank you. You’re a lifesaver.”
Nick’s hair got a thorough tousling next,
then Tom was out the door. Victoria instructed Heath and Nick to help Silas
clear the table. She sat and visited with Jarrod until the task was
complete. Nick kissed her right cheek
and Jarrod her left as they passed on their way to the barn. She didn’t get the opportunity to say
goodbye to Heath. He’d left the house
while Nick and Jarrod had Victoria occupied.
That didn’t surprise the woman.
Heath was good at slinking by her unnoticed.
Victoria shook Heath from her mind. With only two days to go until Christmas she
had an abundance of jobs to accomplish. She wiped off Audra’s hands and face,
then plucked the baby from the highchair.
“Come on, Mama’s girl. Let’s get a head start on those cookies we
need to bake.”
Audra sat on the kitchen floor gurgling at
her reflection in a tin pie plate.
Victoria smiled down at the content little girl while wiping a strand of
hair out of her face. She had just pulled
a hot batch of cookies from the oven when she felt a pair of lips kiss her
cheek.
“Looks like I’m just in time to enjoy some
Christmas cheer.”
The woman smiled at her oldest son. “That you are. Pour yourself a glass of milk
and have a seat at the
table.”
Jarrod did as his mother ordered. She took three ginger bread men from the
cooling rack and placed them on a plate.
She sat down next to her son, enjoying the opportunity to have time
alone with him. The heady smells of cinnamon and nutmeg warmed the room, making
it feel like Christmas had already arrived.
Or so Jarrod said in-between bites of his cookies.
“Where are your brothers?”
“Nick rode on to the upper pasture to help
Father sort cattle. Heath’s out in the
barn taking care of Jingo - at his insistence of course. He let me remove the saddle off for him, but
he said he’d do the rest.”
“He’s a hard working little boy, I’ll give
him that. I don’t believe there’s a
lazy bone in that child’s body.”
“Father said the same thing to me the day
we rode home from the train station.”
Audra crawled over and latched onto her
mother’s dress. She pulled herself to her feet, then swayed back and forth on
unsteady legs. Victoria picked the baby
up, setting Audra on her lap. Jarrod tore off part of a ginger bread man’s leg
and handed it to his little sister.
Victoria watched the baby gum the treat for a moment then turned her
attention back to her son.
“Speaking of Nick and Heath, how was your
ride?”
“Great. It’s so good to be home. I didn’t realize how much I missed the ranch
until we were riding over all this wide open space.”
“I’m glad to hear that. It gives me hope that you’ll set up your law
practice in Stockton when the time comes.”
“I have a ways to go before I’m ready to
set up a law practice. But I don’t have
any reason not to want to return home when my schooling is finished.”
Victoria reached over and patted her son’s
hand. “You don’t know how happy I am to
hear that.”
Jarrod studied his mother over the rim of
his glass. He took a long swig of milk
then set the glass aside. He took his
mother’s hand in his and squeezed.
“Enough small talk. How are you?”
Victoria dipped her head, placing a kiss in Audra’s curls. “Fine.”
“Mother.”
“What?”
“When you answer me without making eye contact
I’m led to conclude your ‘fine’ is less than an honest reply.”
“You may be some years away from being a
lawyer, Jarrod, but you already sound like one.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“That’s how it was intended.”
“Mother.
Please. The truth. How are you with all...this? How are you and Father?”
“Your Father and I are weathering the
storm. Don’t worry, honey, our ship
isn’t going to sink.”
“You’re certain?”
Victoria wormed her hand from Jarrod’s
grasp. She reached up and cupped the
side of his face.
“I’m
certain, Jarrod.”
A soft smile touched the corners of
Jarrod’s mouth.
“You’re
a remarkable woman, Mrs. Barkley.”
“Not so remarkable really. But you’re right about one thing. I am a woman. And a woman does what she has to in order to keep her family
together.”
Jarrod nodded. He ate the remainder of his snack before speaking again.
“That Heath sure is a likable little
guy. After Nick left us he kept up a
steady stream of one-sided conversation our entire ride back here, pointing out
this and that to me as though I’d been away a hundred years.”
“Your father says he does the same when the
two of them are alone together.”
“It’s not that way when Nick’s around
though, isn’t it? Heath’s a completely
different child then. So reserved. So
quiet.”
“Nick’s having a difficult time adjusting
to the situation. He’s been very angry
with your father.”
“Yes. Father mentioned that. He said Nick’s
jealous of Heath.”
“Jealous of the attention Father gives
Heath, yes. Though in your father’s
defense I must say he tries his best to give equal time to both the boys. He’s
gone the extra mile with Nick on a number of occasions, but you know how your brother
is when he gets angry.”
“Nick’s got quite a temper,” Jarrod agreed. “He’s like Grandpa Ted and Uncle Thor in that regard. And he can hold a grudge longer than anyone
I’ve ever met.”
Victoria shifted Audra in her arms. The baby had fallen asleep. Victoria repositioned her so the child’s
head rested in the crook of her elbow.
“That he can. Truthfully, I thought by now Nick would have begun to form a
friendship of sorts with Heath but that has yet to happen.”
“Just like you can’t form a bond with him?”
“Who told you that?”
“No one.
But it’s quite apparent to anyone who observes the two of you, you and
Heath, together.”
Victoria sighed. She was surprised to feel the lump well up in her throat. She pushed her way around it.
“He doesn’t like me.”
“Heath?”
“Yes.”
“Has he told you that?”
“He doesn’t have to. He won’t have anything to do with me. Or at least not any more than he has
to. He won’t speak to me unless I speak
to him first, and then it’s only to reply ‘Yes, ma’am,’ or ‘No, ma’am.’ And heaven forbid if he were to be caught
alone in the same room with me. The child must think he’ll fall over dead
should that happen.”
“Has Heath ever talked to Father about the
reasons why he treats you that way?”
“No.
To the best of my knowledge Heath doesn’t speak about me to anyone. I don’t understand it, Jarrod. Even though
Nick can be downright mean to him, Heath still makes an effort to extend
friendship to Nick. But not once, not
one single time, has he shown any warmth toward me.”
“Could that have something to do with his
mother’s death? Possibly he feels he’s
being disloyal to her if he transfers his affection to you.”
“Possibly.
Though to be honest with you Heath’s never projected any emotion close
to affection toward me. He’s very distant
with me. Even more reserved around me
than he is around Nick.”
Already the young lawyer, Jarrod’s brow
furrowed in thought. “Well, he could
be--”
Before Jarrod finished his sentence boot
heels pounded through the parlor. A
young voice filled with excitement and joy sounded.
“Mother!
Mother!”
For a brief moment Jarrod saw his mother’s
eyes shine with delight. A smile split
her face and she stood with the sleeping Audra in her arms.
“Mother!
Mother!”
Victoria was halfway across the kitchen
floor when Heath entered.
“Moth--”
the boy came to a halt in the doorway.
He looked around, puzzlement etched on his face. When he spotted the cookies cooling on the counter
his eyes shifted to Victoria. And right before tears spilled from those eyes
she saw disappointment, betrayal and sorrow. Jarrod stood, but before he got to
his little brother the child turned and fled the room.
Victoria started to follow the eight year
old. Jarrod placed a restraining hand on her arm.
“Why don’t you put Audra in her crib while
I go to Heath.”
Victoria hesitated a minute before nodding.
If Heath were her child she wouldn’t consider letting anyone else comfort him
when he was crying. But he wasn’t her
child, and through his actions he continuously reminded her of that fact.
“Yes. Yes, you see to your brother and I’ll
see to Audra.”
Jarrod placed a kiss on the woman’s
temple. When he stepped back Victoria
said, “You saw it too, didn’t you? The
disappointment in his eyes when he came face to face with me. The same disappointment I always see in his
eyes when he looks at me.”
What Jarrod wanted to say was, ‘No, I
didn’t see it. What I saw was a little
boy who’s devastated over the loss of his mother. A little boy who doesn’t understand why he’s living in this house
full of strangers. But most importantly
what I saw was the love shining from your eyes when you thought he was calling
for you. The love, and then the hurt
when you realized it wasn’t you he wanted.’
But Jarrod didn’t say any of those things
because he knew his mother was already aware of them. Had probably mulled them over a thousand times since Heath came
to the Barkley ranch.
Jarrod walked out of the kitchen. Victoria
trailed him with Audra in her arms. Ten
minutes later Victoria stepped out of the nursery just as Jarrod stepped from
Heath’s room. He closed the door behind
himself and didn’t speak until he and his mother were in the parlor.
“Did Heath tell you what upset him?”
“No,” Jarrod shook his head. “He wouldn’t say. He wouldn’t talk to me at all.
He wouldn’t allow me to comfort him in any way. There wasn’t much else I could do but tell
him that I’d always be willing to listen if he ever wants to discuss whatever
it is that’s hurting him.”
“You couldn’t do anymore than that,
Jarrod.”
“I know.
But when my little brother is crying as though his heart is breaking
what I had to offer doesn’t seem like much.”
Victoria gave her son a sad smile. “Now you know how I feel.”
“Yes.”
Jarrod’s answer was quiet, thoughtful, and full of new respect. “Yes,
Mother, I guess I do.”
By nine o’clock on the morning of
Christmas Eve the Barkley house was filled with smells that indicated the
coming days would bring an abundance of food to the table. Victoria and Silas popped pan after pan of
popcorn for stringing while the Barkley men were out cutting down the tree. A
twelve-foot tall evergreen was in a stand in the corner of the parlor by
noon. After lunch everyone gathered to
decorate the massive beauty.
Though Heath participated in stringing
popcorn and cranberries, Victoria noticed he sat by himself on the floor in the
far corner of the room. Even coaxing
from Tom couldn’t draw him closer to the family circle. His head remained bent
over his task, his concentration seemingly focused on the job he was doing.
The joy of the holidays and the fun of
decorating the tree soon had the rest of the Barkleys reminiscing about past
Christmases. They laughed when Jarrod
reminded them of the time the tree fell on Nick, when the then seven year old couldn’t
resist sneaking down the stairs and poking around after Santa Claus had come to
call.
“I’ll never forget being woken up at two in
the morning to Nick’s scream,” Tom said with a twinkle in his eye. “Mother and I thought he’d been sleepwalking
and had fallen down the stairs. Instead
we found him pinned under the evergreen, his arms and legs flailing in six
different directions.”
Nick talked about the year his favorite
uncle had been with them for the holidays.
“When Uncle Thor visited us that year it
was like having our very own Santa Claus right here in the house,” Nick said.
“Yes, it was,” Victoria agree. Her robust,
sandy haired brother-in-law never spoke in anything less than a rumbling shout
and loved to laugh until tears rolled down his cheeks.
Tom looked at his two oldest sons. “And I seem to recall a Christmas when two
boys beat Santa Claus to his cookies.”
“We couldn’t help it,” Nick grinned. “Jarrod and I got hungry waiting for him to
come.”
It was only after an hour had passed and
Heath walked over to fill his bowl with more popcorn that Victoria realized how
left out he must feel. He hadn’t said a
word while his family had talked, but then he rarely did when they gathered as
one.
“Heath,” Victoria said, “why don’t you
share some memories with us about special Christmases you had.”
The boy refused to meet Victoria’s eyes.
“No, thank you.”
Heath turned with his bowl and reseated
himself in the corner.
Tom looked from his wife to his youngest
son. What did the boy mean? That he had no memories of past Christmases
that he deemed special, or that he felt the memories he had of times spent with
his mother were not welcome in this house, or was he simply being rude?
“Heath?”
The eight year old looked across the room
at his father, his face a neutral mask.
When the child didn’t break the heavy
silence that prevailed Tom decided to let things drop. He didn’t want the holiday ruined for the
rest of his family. If Heath chose to sit
by himself and not participate when invited to, then so be it.
“Nothing.”
Tom forced himself to smile.
“You go back to what you were doing.”
Nick rolled his eyes at Jarrod and
whispered, “He ruins everything that’s
supposed to be fun.”
Victoria shot her fourteen year old a look
that clearly said, “That’s enough, Nicholas.”
Silas was the family’s saving grace. Whether by accident or design he chose that
moment to appear with a plate of fudge and a pitcher of milk. If nothing else the refreshments diverted
everyone’s attention for a little while.
It was late in the afternoon before the
work on the tree was declared finished.
Victoria couldn’t wait until night came and the children were in
bed. She and Tom would light the
candles on the evergreen then sit together by the fire and enjoy its
beauty. It had been five years since
she had a youngster in her home that believed in Santa Claus. Not that Heath
had talked to her about the jolly old elf, but she had seen him writing a
letter to Santa at the dining room table one evening several weeks back. She heard him ask Tom for a stamp later that
night. Tom had done his best to get
Heath to turn the letter over to him to mail, but the boy refused. He insisted he’d drop it off at the post
office on his way to school, which was exactly what he did. That left Tom and Victoria guessing as to
what to put under the tree for him. In
the end they drew on their experience as parents of two sons and bought the
kinds of things all eight-year old boys like.
A whittling knife, a wooden whistle, a set of jacks, a card game, a
kite, and additional cars for Heath’s train were just some of what he’d find
under the tree on Christmas morning.
For the time being Victoria reminded her
men they had to hurry through chores and then take turns in the bathtub. For ten years now Tom and Victoria had
hosted a cookout on Christmas Eve for the ranch hands and their families. A
steer and two pigs had been roasting all day in the pits behind the barn. By sundown tables would be piled high with
food and drink. At midnight everyone
would join together to sing Silent Night, then the party would draw to a
close.
At quarter to one Christmas morning Jarrod walked
into the house. He found his parents exactly where he knew he would, sitting
together on the hearth of the fireplace.
The glow from the fire and the flickering flames of the tree’s candles
were the only lights shining in the house.
Tom smiled up at his oldest. “Did the last of the party goers finally
call it a night?”
“Yes, and this party goer plans to do the
same. Are Nick and Heath in bed?”
“Nick went up a few minutes ago,” Tom said.
“I brought Heath in about eleven.
I found him asleep in the barn with Chief’s tribe.”
“So that’s where he disappeared to.”
“It would seem so.”
Jarrod raised a questioning eyebrow, but
his father chose not to elaborate. With
the gaggles of excited children running around during the party it had been a
long time before anyone noted Heath’s absence.
The first Jarrod knew of the boy’s disappearance was when his father
came up to him and Nick at ten-thirty and asked if they’d seen Heath. Both young men shook their heads no, Jarrod
offering to help look for his youngest brother.
“No,” his father had replied. “You boys continue with your fun. I’ll find him.”
When Tom was out of earshot Nick turned to
Jarrod.
“See. What did I tell you? That kid ruins every good time we’ve tried
to have since he got here.”
“Perhaps you should have a bit more
sympathy for his plight, Brother Nick.
After all, this is his first Christmas without his mother, and the first
with his new family.”
“You
already sound like a lawyer, you know that?
Father’s sure getting his money’s worth outta your fancy schooling.”
That’s
when Nick poked Jarrod in the stomach and took off running. Jarrod raced after him, thoughts of Heath
pushed from his mind as he plotted playful revenge against his fourteen-year
old brother.
Jarrod came back to the present when his
mother said, “Father found Heath so
that’s all that matters. We can hardly
punish him for being in the barn, now can we?”
Jarrod studied his parents a long
moment. He could tell the adjustment of
a new child to their family was turning out to be as hard on them as it was on
Heath.
“No, I don’t think we can punish him for
that,” was all Jarrod said. He smiled
and bent to kiss his mother on the forehead.
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Jarrod.”
“Goodnight, son.”
When he heard Jarrod’s bedroom door shut
Tom pulled his wife close to his side.
He ran a hand through her hair and kissed her temple.
“Merry Christmas, Mrs. Barkley. And thank you.”
“For what?”
“For everything. Standing beside me through good times and bad. Weathering my mistakes. Welcoming Heath to our family. You’re my one-in-a-million gal.”
Victoria made no reply to the
compliments. She had to admit that this
year, more than any other, they were deserved.
The couple stood and went to the
study. Presents were pulled from the
huge locked closet across from Tom’s desk and carried to the parlor. Victoria filled six stockings then hung them
on the fireplace mantel while Tom piled gifts under the tree.
The couple sat enjoying their handiwork
until the fire burned low. At two a.m. Victoria finally suggested they go to
bed. She almost added, “No doubt Heath will have us up at the crack
of dawn,” but somehow she knew that wasn’t true. She couldn’t picture her subdued stepson flying down the stairs
with joy to see what Santa had left him.
As she and Tom walked hand in hand up the
stairs Victoria offered a silent prayer heavenward.
Please, Lord, just let today be free of
upsets for all of us. Just this one day
of all days.
Heath wasn’t sure what woke him. He sat up in bed, confused for a moment as
to how he got here. The last thing he remembered
was laying against Cheyenne’s soft side while her puppies clambered all over
him.
The boy listened for other sounds in the
household. All was silent, leading him
to believe the party had come to an end and everyone was asleep. He rolled toward the nightstand by the side
of his bed and opened a drawer. He
grabbed the gifts he’d been hiding for weeks and threw the covers back. His flannel nightshirt swirled around his
calves as he crept to the door. He
opened it without making a sound, then peered into the hallway. The door that
led to his father’s room was shut, as was the one to Nick’s room and the
nursery. Jarrod’s room he couldn’t see
from here, it was around the corner, but no lights shone from the lower story
meaning Heath felt it safe to descend.
The glow of the fireplace led the eight
year old to the parlor. A wide grin split Heath’s face when he caught sight of
the bulging stockings and the presents piled under the tree. Santa Claus had come! He’d really come again!
Santa hadn’t visited Heath in several years
now. The boy was glad to find out that
this year of all years, Santa had put Heath back on his list.
The boy stopped in front of the bright red
stocking that had his name embroidered on it.
Santa must have brought the stocking with him. Heath never had a stocking when he lived in Strawberry.
The boy quaked with anticipation. He absently laid the gifts he carried under
the tree, then stood and parted the branches.
He craned his head, looking left and right. He circled the tree, even squeezing behind it where it brushed up
against the wall. He looked, and
looked, and looked, then thought, The kitchen! That’s where he’d leave my present. In the kitchen ‘cause we always had so much fun in our kitchen at
home.
Heath thought of the gingerbread cookies
his mother used to bake and how their aroma made their little house in
Strawberry smell so good. Just like the kitchen in this house had smelled the
other day when he thought his mother had come back to him.
The boy ran into the cold, dark room. He navigated without the aid of light,
feeling every chair. He moved to the
cook stove, then to the wall that held the cabinets. When Heath finally determined there was no one present but
himself he caught his lower lip between his teeth to keep from crying out his
anguish. He fled through the dining
room, parlor, and out into the foyer.
When he came to the stairs he forced his steps to slow. He had to get back to his room as quietly as
he’d left it. He didn’t want to face
these people he lived with now. He
couldn’t bear to see the sorrow on his father’s face, or the pity on Jarrod’s,
or the anger on Nick’s. And her...well
her, the one he called ‘ma’am’, he didn’t want to see at all.
Once again Heath laid alone in his room and
cried like he had done many a night since arriving on the Barkley ranch.
Victoria was correct in her assumption that
it wouldn’t be Heath waking them at dawn.
Yet neither had she imagined it would be her oldest son leading the
charge for the Christmas tree.
Ever since he was a little boy Jarrod had
been so in-tune to the feelings of those around him. Therefore his instincts must have told him if this Christmas was
going to be a joyful one, it was up to him to start it off on the right
note.
Jarrod roused Nick from his bed at six that
morning. The fourteen year old did some
good natured grumbling which prompted a brief pillow fight, but he was soon
pulling on a pair of socks, pants and a shirt.
Jarrod dragged Nick along to the nursery where baby Audra was sitting up
in her crib playing with a rag doll.
She smiled and held her arms out to her big brother.
“Pee u,” Nick held his nose. “Take her to Mother.”
“I think we can give Mother a little break
from diaper duty on this day of all days.”
“Maybe you can, but don’t count me
in on that idea.”
Jarrod carried the baby to the table his
mother used for diaper changing and dressing.
“I’ll handle the diaper, you find her a dress and some socks.”
Nick was willing to do that much for his
baby sister. In ten minutes time the
little girl was clean, dressed, and had a fresh ribbon in her hair though
admittedly the green bow tilted farther to the left than it should have.
Jarrod passed Audra to Nick as he hurried
to Heath’s room. He opened the door
with a big grin on his face and boomed,
“Merry Christmas. . .”
Jarrod’s words faltered as he walked into
the room. Heath was hardly the picture
of excitement like Jarrod remembered himself and Nick being at the age of eight
on Christmas morning. The blond boy was
dressed for the day and sitting by the window.
His forlorn gaze never left the ranch yard below.
“Heath?”
Heath turned as if this was the first he
was aware of his siblings.
“Come on,” Jarrod urged. “We’re going down to see what Santa left for
everyone.”
Jarrod didn’t allow the morose boy anymore
time to brood. He swept Heath from his
chair and swung him to his shoulders.
Jarrod followed Nick out of the room, ducking under the doorway so Heath
wouldn’t hit his head.
Jarrod backtracked down the hall just long
enough to pound on his parents’ bedroom door.
“Merry Christmas, Father! Merry Christmas, Mother!”
Nick’s voiced echoed the same sentiments.
Jarrod added, “Heath and Audra say Merry Christmas as well.”
Victoria was belting her robe when she
opened the door. She smiled at the
sight before her. A fully dressed Audra
smiling from Nick’s hip, Nick and Jarrod standing together looking so handsome
and grownup, and a somber Heath perched on Jarrod’s shoulders whether he wanted
to be there or not.
Tom was slipping into his robe when he
joined his family. “Go on then,
Jarrod. Let’s get this Christmas Day
started.”
Jarrod bounded down the stairs, calling,
“Hang on, Heath!” Nick followed with
the laughing Audra who squealed with delight at all the commotion.
The boys went right for their
stockings. Tom took Heath off Jarrod’s
shoulders while Victoria took Audra from Nick.
Nuts, oranges, and chocolate candies spilled out of the boys’ stockings
while Audra received a rattle, a teething ring, and a new cloth doll. Jarrod and Nick dug further, Nick finding
dime novels by his favorite western author while Jarrod found a bottle of
aftershave and a pocket dictionary.
Heath let Tom guide him through his
stocking, only reaching for more treasures when he was prompted to do so by his
father. If the gifts brought Heath any
excitement Tom was hard-pressed to discern it from the boy’s reserved demeanor.
The man did his best to cover Heath’s
behavior. When all the stockings were
empty he clapped his hands and said, “Okay, everyone! Gather around in a circle by the tree.”
Tom took Heath by the hand and led him to
the evergreen. Jarrod sat next to Heath
with Nick on the other side of him.
Victoria sat between her husband and Nick, Audra on her lap.
Tom picked up the first present. He read the writing on the tissue paper. “This says it’s for Heath from Papa and
Victoria.”
Heath took the gift and opened it. Without comment he studied the wooden car
that would hook on the back of his train engine. He finally lifted his eyes to his father.
“Thank you, Papa.”
Tom patted his back. “You’re welcome, son. That was from Victoria, too.”
Heath knew what his father meant by that
last comment. He glanced across the
room, barely making eye contact with his stepmother.
“Thank you, ma’am.”
“You’re welcome, Heath.”
Tom continued to pass out gifts one by one
until everyone had a pile of open presents surrounding them. Audra sat in the middle of the floor now,
ignoring her new dolls and the jack-in-the-box to instead play with the
discarded wrapping paper.
Tom watched his family for a moment. He smiled at his sparkling baby girl, his
eyes then shifted to his older sons.
Nick was sighting the new rifle he’d gotten while Jarrod poured over a
set of law textbooks Victoria had ordered for him from Boston. Heath was the only one who showed little
interest in his gifts, though he had said thank you after he’d opened each one.
The family patriarch reached under the tree
one last time. He found gifts from Nick
and Jarrod to himself and Victoria, and gifts from them to each other, Heath,
and Audra. Whether or not Nick would
have purchased Heath a gift without Tom’s prompting the man didn’t know,
nonetheless the purchase had been made at some point in recent days and that
was all Tom cared about.
Victoria opened the first box Tom handed
her. Her eyes grew wide with
shock.
“Jarrod...oh, Jarrod, it’s beautiful.”
The woman held up a slate gray cameo broach
for all to see.
“Honey,
you shouldn’t have. The money you must
have spent.”
Jarrod rose and stepped over Audra. He bent and kissed his mother’s cheek.
“You’re
worth every penny.”
Her gift from Nick was a jar of colored
bath salts and a bottle of her favorite perfume.
“Why, thank you, Nick. Thank you.
This was so thoughtful of you.
And to think you even know what my favorite perfume is.”
Nick blushed and shrugged his
shoulders. “It was nothing. But when you’re ready to use those
things...on a night when Father takes you out to dinner maybe, I’ll watch
Audra.”
Tom looked at Nick mouthing, “And Heath,
too.”
“And Heath. I’ll stay here and watch Audra and Heath so you and Father can go
out to dinner. Maybe even take the
train to San Francisco and see a play.”
“That’s a wonderful idea, Nick. When Audra’s a little older I’ll take you up
on it. Thank you, son.”
While Victoria helped Audra open the gifts
Jarrod and Nick had given her no one noticed Heath scoot back toward the
tree. His hand encountered two presents
he slipped into the back pocket of his pants.
By the time Tom was opening his gifts Heath was seated next to him once
again.
The man was surprised to find a present
wrapped in brown paper with his name printed on it.
“To Papa,” he read, “From Heath.”
Tom smiled down at his blond son while he
opened the gift. His jaw dropped as he
hands rubbed over the soft leather of the wallet.
“Heath, this is nice. Very nice.
But wherever did you get the money to buy it?”
The weekly allowance Tom paid Heath for
doing chores around the ranch wouldn’t have purchased a wallet this expensive.
“I made it.”
“You made it?”
“Yes.
After school and on weekends when I was in the tack room. Phillip gave me the leather. He said they were scraps no one would ever
use.”
Tom turned the wallet over to see the word
‘Papa’ burnished on the other side. He
watched as Jarrod and Nick opened wallets with their names burnished in the
leather as well.
“Where did you ever learn tannery?”
“From Mr. Overmeier in Strawberry. He was the tanner. I cleaned his shop for him whenever he asked me to.”
Jarrod expressed his pleasure at Heath’s
craftsmanship, and even Nick was forced to admit this new little brother was
constantly full of surprises. For the
first time since Heath had arrived he spoke to the boy in a civil tongue.
“Thanks, Heath. Thanks a lot.”
Victoria opened the gift addressed to Audra
from Heath. A leather necklace strung
with colored wooden beads was just the right length to tie around her chubby
neck.
“Where did you get the beads?” Tom asked.
“Miss Wellington got them for me. She traded me two week’s worth of blackboard
cleaning for them ‘cause I told her I don’t take charity.”
Tom laughed and pulled his son to his
chest. “You’re quite the little
businessman, aren’t you.”
“And I made Silas a belt. I’ll give it to him after breakfast.”
“That was very thoughtful of you, to
remember Silas like that.”
“He’s my friend,” Heath said in return.
Tom looked under the tree one last
time. When he didn’t see anything for
Victoria from Heath he wasn’t sure if he should question the boy or not. He caught his wife’s eye and saw her shake
her head no. He swore he saw tears
swimming behind her gaze, but she turned away before he could ascertain that
fact. Victoria distracted the family by
picking up Audra and announcing, “Silas is putting breakfast on the table. Let’s leave our gifts for the time being and
eat.”
The Barkley family attended
church services at noon that day, then returned home to the Christmas feast
Silas had awaiting them. Friends and
neighbors popped in throughout the afternoon and early evening. By ten o’clock that night the Barkleys were
settling into their respective beds.
Even Nick went without a fuss, the long day taking its toll on him as
well.
Tom turned on his side and snuggled against
his wife.
“Victoria,
I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
“For not making certain Heath had a gift
for you. I never gave it a thought that
he would buy...or make rather, any of us presents this year. I assumed he wasn’t comfortable enough with
us yet so I didn’t broach the subject with him.”
“It’s okay. Heath has the right to give
gifts to whomever he chooses.”
“But he doesn’t have the right to leave you
out. That’s not the way we do things
around here.”
“Let it be for now. Please.”
“But--”
“Tom, this situation is no different than
what you said a while back about Nick.”
“About Nick?”
“Regarding George Barnsworth and how he
picks on Heath. You said you couldn’t
make Nick fight for Heath, nor love him either. Well, you can’t make Heath love me. To quote you, he’ll be drawn to do that in time, or he won’t
be. None of us can predict what the
future holds.”
Tom made no reply to his wife. As much as he hated it when she found
occasion to use his words against him, he had to admit they were appropriate
given the current situation.
Victoria said no more and Tom fell asleep
holding her. She didn’t allow her tears
to flow until she felt his soft snores against her back.
The next two weeks flew by. New Year’s Eve took Jarrod and Nick to the
party at the Hansen ranch and brought the Manners family to the Barkleys’
homestead.
Somehow Jarrod found the time to give
equally of himself to everyone. He
worked alongside his father, took trips to town with Nick, went horseback
riding with his mother, played with Audra, and walked with Heath beside the
river that cut through the Barkley property when the boy took Chief’s puppies
out for their daily romp.
Everyone hated to see Jarrod return to
school, but the day came when they had no choice but to wave goodbye. Nick helped Tom secure Jarrod’s luggage to
the back of the buggy. One of the ranch
hands was driving Tom and Jarrod into Stockton. Tom was taking the train to San Francisco with his oldest son. He had business to conduct in the city for
several days and decided this would be a good opportunity to get it taken care
of.
It wasn’t unusual for Heath to disappear
whenever Tom went to town. Therefore,
Victoria wasn’t concerned when she didn’t see him after the buggy pulled out of
the main gates. She knew he never
wandered too far, but always seemed to find something to occupy his time on the
Barkley acreage.
Nick flew into the dining room at five
minutes after six that evening. He slid
into his chair.
“Sorry I’m late, Mother.”
Victoria leaned sideways with her napkin and
wiped at a smudge of dirt on her son’s face.
“It looks like you’ve been busy.”
“Some horses broke out of the east
corral. I was helping Randall and Paul
repair the fencing.”
“Your father will be pleased to know he can
leave the ranch in your capable hands.”
Victoria saw Nick’s chest swell with pride
at the compliment, though he simply shrugged his shoulders in reply to her
words. The woman reached out and
slapped at one of Nick’s hands.
“Nick, put that roll down. You know we don’t begin eating until
everyone is seated.” The woman craned
her head toward the foyer where Nick had entered from. “And speaking of everyone being seated,
where’s Heath?”
“I don’t know.”
“You didn’t see him on your way in?”
“No.”
“That’s odd. He’s never late for a meal.”
“That’s for sure,” Nick snorted. “The kid’s like a cuckoo clock when it comes
to being fed.”
“Nick.”
“What?
No one’s around to hear me.
Well, no one but Audra that is and she’s not going to tell anyone, are
you Audra?”
The baby gurgled at her big brother as
though she’d understood every word he said.
Nick reached over and moved her blocks around on her high chair tray.
Victoria stood and went to the dining room
windows.
“When
was the last time you saw Heath today?”
“I don’t know. I guess when Father and Jarrod left.”
“That
was the last time I saw him, too.”
Silas entered carrying a platter of
ham. Victoria turned.
“Silas, have you seen Heath this
afternoon?”
“No, ma’am. Least ways not since you were all gathered outside saying goodbye
to Mr. Jarrod.”
Victoria turned back to the windows as
Silas exited the room.
“It’s getting dark,” the woman said to her
son. “It’s not like Heath to stay out
after dark. And it’s especially not
like him to be late for supper.”
“Do you want me to go out and see if he’s
in the barn?”
The woman turned to her son. She could tell by the look on his face that
he’d rather be eating. She appreciated
him taking a mature stance for once where his younger brother was concerned.
“Yes, Nick. Please do that. And if
he’s not there look in the other buildings as well. And check with the men in the bunkhouses, too.”
“I will.”
This time Victoria didn’t admonish Nick
when he reclaimed his dinner roll on his way out the door. On impulse she took Audra out of the high
chair and called to Silas.
“Yes, ma’am?”
“I’m going to check upstairs just to make
certain Heath isn’t hiding somewhere on us.
Would you please look in all the rooms down here.”
“Yes, Mrs. Barkley. I’ll do that right now. But don’t you worry none. It’ll probably turn out like Christmas Eve. Mr. Heath is probably curled up in some
corner somewhere sound asleep.”
Victoria nodded as she and Audra headed for
the stairs.
Silas is right. I’m worrying for nothing. Heath has probably fallen asleep somewhere,
or is outside feeding Jarrod’s dogs and has lost track of time.
An hour later Victoria knew she now had
reason to be concerned. The search of
the house proved futile, as did Nick’s search of the out buildings. The fourteen year old was getting some men
together to ride the ranch looking for Heath when horse’s hooves pounded from
the west. Nick strained to see into the
darkness.
“Whoa,” the man said as he reined his horse
to a stop next to Nick.
“Heath!”
Nick cried. “Where have you
been? It’s after seven o’clock and
you’ve got everyone goin’ out of their minds with worry.”
The ranch hand swung down off his horse,
then lifted the soaking wet Heath out of the saddle.
“I found him walking home from the river,
Nick. He said he fell in.”
“Fell in!
Why you little...you know the river’s off limits unless an adult is with
you.”
Nick looked up at the man who had brought
his brother home. “Thanks, Art.”
“No problem.” The cowboy tousled Heath’s wet hair. “And you stay away from that river, young fella’.”
Nick grabbed a handful of his brother’s
shirt and propelled the child toward the house. “Boy, are you gonna get it.
Mother’s gonna tan your hide for this stunt. First you disappear without telling anyone where you’re goin’,
then you practically get yourself drowned in the river. You have yet to see Victoria Barkley’s
temper, but I have a feeling you’ll be well acquainted with it before you’re
sent to bed.”
Even if Heath had wanted to make a reply he
couldn’t have. The air temperature was
fifty degrees and the cold water of the river hadn’t felt any warmer than
that. His teeth were chattering and his
limbs stiff as ice.
Nick was shouting before he even opened the
door.
“Mother!
Mother! Mother, look who Art
brought home!”
Victoria rushed down the stairs from the
nursery.
“Heath!
Heath, where have you...Heath, what happened? My Lord, you’re soaking wet.”
“He fell in the river.”
“In the river? What was he doing down there?”
“I don’t know. Art found him walking home a little while ago.”
Victoria shuddered as she thought of the
wild, rushing river that cut a wide path through the Barkley property. It was as beautiful as it was deadly. Only on the calmest of summer days could it
be used for a swim. In winter, when it
was filled with snow run-offs from the mountains it was swollen and angry. As angry as Victoria was right now when she
thought of what could have been had Heath somehow not gotten himself to safety.
“Heath, you know you’re not supposed to be
near that river unless an adult is with you!
What in the world made you go down there?” The woman cupped the child’s chin and raised his head so he was
forced to make eye contact with her.
“Heath?
Heath, answer me.”
When it became apparent the boy was going
to make no reply Victoria shook her head in both anger and disgust.
“Go upstairs and get changed out of those
wet clothes.” The woman turned to her
house servant as he entered from the kitchen to see what the commotion was
about. “Silas, please help him. Get him in bed while I warm up some soup.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Silas put a hand on Heath’s cold back. “Come on, Mr. Heath.
Let’s get you warmed up.”
Heath watched Victoria with wary eyes when
she entered his room thirty minutes later. He was dressed in a clean nightshirt and tucked in bed with two
extra quilts spread over him. He
wouldn’t meet Victoria’s gaze as he sipped at the chicken soup. At least she wasn’t trying to make
conversation. She was so angry with him
she simply sat perched on the edge of his mattress waiting for him to finish
his meal.
When Victoria got up to leave she realized
it was Tom who had always tucked Heath into bed for the night. She knew little of what their nighttime
routine contained. She never gave it a
thought when she leaned forward to kiss the boy’s forehead. She would have made this gesture to any of
her children no matter how upset she was with them.
Heath cowered into his pillows when he saw
Victoria moving toward him. She stopped
in mid-motion; his blatant dislike of her made the woman feel as though someone
had taken a slice from her heart.
She stood with the soup bowl in her
hand. She leaned over the oil lamp and
blew out the wick, plunging the room into darkness.
“Good night, Heath.”
The boy didn’t answer Victoria, but then
she didn’t expect him to.
Victoria sat in the parlor staring into the
fireplace. The flames offered no
answers to the questions churning in her mind.
She wondered what had lured Heath to the
river. Though he generally disappeared
when Tom wasn’t around, he’d never before been disobedient and wandered
somewhere he’d been told he wasn’t supposed to be.
And his dislike of her. He’d been with them over two months now and
nothing had changed. They hadn’t even
begun to form the slightest of friendships, let alone forge a mother/child
relationship. While some women in
Victoria’s position might have looked upon Heath’s silence as a blessing, she
knew in his case actions did speak louder than words. The most recent example of that was the Christmas gifts that had
been given to everyone but her. Why
even Silas received a gift, but there had been nothing for her and no mention
as to why not. Well, Victoria knew the
why nots. The boy hated her. He resented her for being the woman whose
role it now was to take his mother’s place.
Maybe Tom needs to take him back to
Strawberry. I thought we were doing the
right thing by bringing Heath here, but now I see I was wrong. Heath hates me, he has no desire to get to
know me, or allow me to get to know him.
And then there’s Nick. We
shouldn’t have expected him to accept this boy as brother. It’s not fair that this has altered Tom and
Nick’s relationship. All for a little
boy who doesn’t want to be here in the first place.
Heath and Audra were
sleeping, and Silas had retired to his quarters for the night. Nick was out in the tack room mending a
saddle meaning Victoria had the main floor to herself. She sat in the parlor until the clock chimed
ten times. She thought of going outside
and telling Nick it was time for him to get ready for bed, then decided he might
as well enjoy his last few days of school vacation. Besides, he’d been such a help tonight. So calm and levelheaded when organizing the men to search for
Heath. So confident that Heath would be
found when he patted Victoria’s arm and said,
“Don’t worry, Mother.
Everything’s going to be all right.
I’ll find him, I promise.”
Yes, Heath had been found and with plenty
of help from his guardian angel everything had indeed, been all right. But what would tomorrow bring? And the day after that? Would the child eventually run away? Had he been trying to do just that this
evening when he fell in the river? And
what heartache would it bring Tom if the boy disappeared at some point in the
future and was never found? Would Tom
ever be able to forgive himself for the mistakes that were made the night Heath
was created?
Victoria stood and crossed to the
fireplace. She wished she knew what
opinions she was going to express to her husband when he returned from San
Francisco. Should Heath remain at the Barkley
ranch, or be returned to Rachel?
Perhaps
that decision was best left up to the eight year old. But would Tom even be willing to consider such a thing? And if he wasn’t, what price might they pay
for keeping Heath with them? What price
might Heath pay for staying with them?
With a heavy heart Victoria removed the poker
from its rack and rolled the logs. She
left the fire burning low, knowing Nick would take care of it when he came in.
The woman lifted her skirts and climbed the
stairs. She placed her hand on the knob
of Heath’s bedroom door, her intention to silently enter the room one last time
to make certain he wasn’t suffering any ill effects from his swim. She paused a moment and cocked her
head. There it was again. A muffled, gasping sound like someone was
crying. Crying but didn’t want to be
heard.
Victoria opened Heath’s door and took two
steps into the room. The lights from
the hallway gave her all she needed to see by.
Heath lay curled in a ball with his back to her. His body shook as he sobbed into his
pillows.
“Heath?”
The woman rushed to the bed.
“Heath? Honey, are you all
right? Do you feel sick?”
Victoria sat on the edge of the
mattress. Heath curled up even tighter
when he felt her come to rest beside him.
She ignored his movement and placed her open palm on his forehead. When she couldn’t detect a fever she ran her
hand down to his cheek. With her own
children she’d often found this was a good gauge of how high their temperatures
were.
Heath’s skin felt a little warm to
Victoria, but she wasn’t certain if that was a sign of illness or if it was
from the exertion of crying. His face
was wet with tears. He sputtered and
gulped, trying to stop their flow, but the weeping seemed to continue on its
own accord.
“Heath, can you tell me what’s wrong?”
When Victoria got no answer she kept her
voice quiet and soothing when probing again.
“Are you sick?”
Still no answer.
“Heath, please. I’m worried about you, sweetheart. If nothing else please tell me if you’re not feeling well.”
Finally Victoria saw him nod against his
pillow.
“Does that mean you’re all right?”
His voice came out soft and nasally. “Yes, ma’am.”
“You don’t have a tummy ache?”
“No, ma’am.”
“How about a headache?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Are you too warm or too cold?”
“No, ma’am.”
Victoria put a smile in her voice when she
asked her last question.
“Have you grown another arm or leg? Or perhaps another set of toes? Or an extra ear?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Well then, young man, I’d say you survived
your swim unscathed.”
It
wasn’t until after she’d brushed Heath’s hair off his forehead that Victoria
realized he’d allowed her to touch him.
She pulled a hankie out of her dress pocket and wiped the tears from the
side of his face that was visible to her.
She held the white linen to his nose and encouraged him to sit up.
“Here, sweetheart. Blow.”
Heath rose on an elbow and did as
instructed. Victoria folded the hankie
and returned it to her pocket. She sat
in silence with the boy for a moment, trying to decide how to proceed with this
very fragile thread that suddenly existed between them. She kept her voice soft and gentle.
“Would you tell me why you were crying,
honey?”
Heath leaned against his pillows but turned
his head away. Nonetheless, his
movement couldn’t hide the tears she saw well up in his eyes again.
“Heath?”
When Victoria got no reply she absently
fingered the quilts that lay across the boy’s chest.
“You know, when my children are upset it
upsets me, too. It hurts me to find you
crying in here all by yourself.
Sometimes when something bothers us so much that it makes us cry it
helps to have a friend to talk to.”
Heath thought a long moment before
confessing,
“Rachel used to talk to me when I cried
after my mother died.”
“Rachel was a good friend then, wasn’t
she?”
“Uh, huh.
And Hannah, too.”
“Yes, and Hannah, too. I’m glad to hear you had such good
friends. I know when we have to move
away from our friends it can make us very sad.
Are you crying because you miss Rachel and Hannah?”
“No.”
“I see.
Well, maybe you’re crying because you had to say goodbye to Jarrod
today. Saying goodbye to Jarrod made me
sad.”
“I didn’t want Jarrod to go either. I like him a lot.”
Victoria smiled. “Everyone likes Jarrod a lot.
He’s a good brother, don’t you think?”
“Yes.”
“So is that why you’re crying? Because Jarrod had to leave us to return to
school?”
“No.”
Victoria thought further, trying to
remember what it was like to be eight years old. Trying to put herself in Heath’s place. She pondered bringing up the subject of his mother, but thought
it was best to follow his lead in that area.
She looked around the room, her eyes traveling to the vast hallway
beyond. This house must seem so
enormous to Heath after the home he was used to living in with his mother. Tom had told her it had one room that served
as both kitchen and living room, and one tiny bedroom barely bigger than a
closet where Heath slept, while Leah slept on a cot near the stove.
Victoria could easily imagine how
frightening it must be for Heath to sleep in this big room all by himself. She wondered why she’d never thought of this
before. On the other hand, how could
she have? Prior to this moment she’d
always gotten the impression Heath didn’t want her in the room with him.
“Heath, were you crying because you’re
scared?”
Victoria’s question prompted a fresh flow
of tears.
“Sweetheart, what is it that’s frightening
you so?”
When the boy didn’t answer Victoria
prompted, “Heath?”
“Papa...Papa’s gone.”
“You’re scared because Papa went with
Jarrod?”
Heath nodded his head.
“There’s no need to be scared, honey. Papa will be back. Remember when he left today he told you he’d see you on
Saturday.”
The boy’s answer came in a hiccupped
sob.
“I...I...I...know.”
“Papa
will be back on Saturday, and in the meantime I’m here with you and Nick and
Audra.”
“But...but...but...you’ll send me
away...away to some place...some place where Papa will never find me.”
“I’ll do what?”
“Send...send...me...away.”
“Who told you that?”
“My...my...Uncle Matt.”
“Your Uncle Matt? When did he tell you that?”
“The day I lef...left Strawberry. Uncle Matt wanted me to stay with him and
Aunt Martha. He told me to tell Papa I
wanted to stay in Strawberry. Only I didn’t
want
to. Well...maybe I did a little because I love
Rachel and Hannah. But Uncle Matt is
mean. Especially when he drinks
whiskey. And Aunt Martha...well Hannah
says she’s not right in the head and it’s true. She looks at people funny and laughs for no reason at all. Sometimes she even wears her clothes
backwards, or forgets to put on her shoes, or wears her nigh gown to the
general store. I didn’t want to live
with her and Uncle Matt. If I couldn’t
stay with Rachel and Hannah then I wanted to come with Papa ‘cause I already
liked him.”
“Exactly where is it your Uncle Matt told
you I’d send you?”
Heath finally made eye contact with his
step mother. Though Victoria could tell
he was frightened, she could also tell he was ready to face the fears that had
haunted him since the first day he came to the Barkley ranch.
“He said you’d hate me because I’m not your
boy. That you’d hate me ‘cause I’m just
your husband’s bastard. He said the
first time Papa went away for more than a few hours you’d send me to an
orphanage where Papa would never find me.”
Victoria was getting a good idea as to just
what kind of a man Matthew Thomson was.
She had a strong suspicion he’d filled Heath’s head with even more lies
than had just been revealed.
“What other things did your uncle tell you
about me?”
“That...that...” tears threatened to cut
off Heath’s voice.
Victoria stroked his cheek with the back of
her hand.
“Honey,
don’t cry. There’s nothing to be afraid
of. Your Uncle Matt has told you a lot
of things that aren’t true. Things that
have been scaring you and have prevented you and me from becoming friends. Now
why don’t you tell me everything else your uncle said.”
It took Heath a moment to find his
voice.
“He
said even if you didn’t send me away you’d beat me. That I wouldn’t even have to do anything wrong and you’d take a
strap to me. He said you wouldn’t want
me in your house ‘cause I’m not one of your kids. That you’d just as soon put me out with the garbage than to have
to look at me.”
“Is that why you don’t like me to touch
you, and why you don’t like to talk to me?
It that why you disappear every time Papa goes to town? Because you’re
afraid I’ll beat you? Is that why you
wandered down to the river tonight?”
The boy dropped his eyes.
“Heath?”
Victoria saw him give a skittish nod of his
head.
“Heath, look at me please.”
The eight year old reluctantly lifted his
head. He was shocked to see tears
rolling down his stepmother’s face.
“Sweetheart, I would never, never
send you away. Not to an orphanage, not
anywhere. This is your home now. You live here with your father and your
brothers and your sister. You have just
as much right to be here as anyone else in this family. And I do want you in this house. Don’t you think for one minute that I
don’t. As far as me taking a strap to
you...well, have you ever seen me take a strap to anyone?”
“No.
But Nick said you were going to tan my hide tonight.”
“Nick knows perfectly well that I have
never struck any child in this household.
Unfortunately, when Nick gets angry he tends to stretch the truth.”
“Nick’s angry with me a lot. I want to be his friend, but he doesn’t like
me much.”
“Nick hasn’t given himself time to get to
know you, Heath. Which is his fault,
not yours.”
“He thinks I took Papa away from him. I never meant to. I always try to make sure Papa spends more time with Nick than
with me because Nick needs him more than I do.
I love Papa, but I got along okay for eight years without knowing him so
if it makes Nick mad ‘cause he has to share Papa with me then I won’t mind if
Papa ignores me. Besides, Uncle Matt
already told me that my brothers and sister wouldn’t want me here either ‘cause
I’m the bastard kid.”
Victoria kept her seething anger for Matt
Thomson from showing on her face or in her voice.
“Heath, we need to discuss several
issues. First of all, it’s very
generous of you to say you’d allow Papa to ignore you if that act would make
Nick happy, but let me assure you Papa won’t be ignoring any of his
children. Just like Jarrod had to learn
to share Papa when Nick was born, Nick will now have to learn to share Papa
with you. Such is the way of families
long before any of us came into this world.
“And as far as your uncle saying you’re a
bastard...I don’t like that word. It’s
a stupid word. It’s a stupid word that
just means your Uncle Matt isn’t a very smart man.”
“No.
It means that I don’t have a father.
Other people in Strawberry used to call me that sometimes, too. I even fought some kids in school who used
to call me that.”
“But you do have a father, Heath. Everyone has a father. None of us could be born without one. Granted, not all of us grow up living with
our fathers, but I don’t care who the person is, he or she has a father. So see, you aren’t a bastard.”
Heath mulled over Victoria’s words before
nodding his agreement to the logic behind them. She sat stroking a hand through his golden hair, allowing him
time to contemplate their conversation.
When he spoke again she had to strain to hear the little voice that was
pitched just above a whisper.
“Sometimes I cry because I’m scared...and
sometimes I cry because I miss my mother.”
And with that the floodgate broke. Sobs wracked the boy’s body as he cried for
the woman he had loved so much and tried so hard to take care of.
Victoria wrapped Heath in her arms. He buried his face in the hollow between her
neck and shoulder, weeping so heavily Victoria could soon feel his wet tears
dampening the material of her dress.
The woman rocked back and forth in gentle
rhythm. One hand cupped the back of
Heath’s head while the other rubbed up and down the curve of his bony
spine.
“I know, sweetie. I know it hurts. I know
how much you loved her and how much you miss her. I know,” Victoria soothed.
“I know.”
Heath pushed words out between his sobs.
“I’ve tried...tried to be good. I’ve tried to wish her here. I thought...I thought maybe...maybe if
I...if I didn’t cause anyone...anyone any trouble that...that...God...God would
give her...give her back to me. I even
asked Santa Claus to bring her. I
didn’t...I didn’t ask for anything else.
Nothing. Just my mother. But then I woke up...woke up on Christmas
and went downstairs to look for her and...and she wasn’t here. That’s when I knew...when I knew she wasn’t
ever coming back. Never. No matter how good I am...or how hard I
pray...or how much I wish. I’ll never
see her again, will I?”
It broke Victoria’s heart to have to tell
this child the truth. Despite the fact
that her husband had slept with Leah Thomson, Victoria wished she had the power
to bring Heath’s mother back to him.
“I’m so sorry, Heath, but no. No.
You won’t ever see your mother again.
Or at least not for a long, long time until you’re a very old man and
God calls you home to heaven. But in
the years between now and then you’ll have the memories of your mother to carry
in your heart.”
“I just want...I just want to hug her one
last time. I just want to tell her I
love her again. She was so...so sick
when I told her that day. That last day
that she was...was alive. So sick that
I don’t think she heard me.”
“Oh, honey, she heard you. She heard you.”
“How do you...how do you know?”
Victoria’s lips brushed the top of Heath’s
head.
“Because
a mother always hears her child’s voice no matter what.”
Heath clung to Victoria and cried a long time
that night. She suspected every memory
he had of his mother was coming alive within his mind. She also suspected he was taking the first
steps toward saying goodbye to a life he could never have again, and to a
cherished woman he would never see again.
When Heath’s tears stopped he was content
to remain folded within Victoria’s embrace.
He didn’t say anymore, and neither did she. She simply held him, stroking his hair and rubbing his back until
she could tell he’d fallen asleep.
The woman eased Heath to his pillows
without waking him. She sat beside him
a while longer, then stood and made sure he was well covered. She leaned down and placed a light kiss in
the middle of his forehead. As she
walked out of the room she could only hope tonight was the beginning of a new
day for both of them.
Victoria closed Heath’s door, then turned
to face Nick. She’d heard him come up
the stairs shortly after she’d entered Heath’s room. The entire time she was with Heath she was well aware that Nick
was standing outside the open door eavesdropping.
Nick ducked his head while swiping at his
eyes. No matter. Victoria had seen the tears brimming there.
Her voice was quiet but firm when she spoke
to her fourteen year old.
“I imagine you now have a better
understanding of what your brother is going through, and why this adjustment is
just as difficult for him as it is for you.
For as much as he needs a mother, he also needs a friend. At some point very soon I hope you decide to
be that friend. If you don’t, then
someday he’ll look elsewhere for someone he can turn to, admire, work beside,
and have fun with. My woman’s intuition
tells me you’ll live to regret it if that’s what you allow to happen. I have a feeling that little boy in there is
just itching to make someone the best friend you could ever hope to have.”
Nick’s reply was unsteady and tight. “Yeah.
Yeah, I...I get that feeling, too.”
The young man accepted his mother’s kiss on
the cheek.
“Good night, Nick.”
“Good night.”
Victoria, Audra, and Heath were already at
the breakfast table the next morning when Nick entered the room. Heath’s eyes slid sideways when Nick took the
chair next to him rather than the one across the table from him.
“Good morning, Mother!” Nick boomed with sunshine in his voice. His greeting to Heath was no less
exuberant. “Morning, Heath!”
Victoria smiled. “Good morning.”
Heath’s “morning,” was full of wary
caution, as though he wasn’t sure what Nick’s motives were.
Victoria saw Heath’s eyes widen when Nick
spoke of the day he had planned. There
wasn’t one thing on Nick’s list that didn’t include Heath’s participation.
“If it’s okay with you, Mother, Heath and I
will inspect that north fence line Father asked me to check. Then we’ll ride to the line shack and drop
supplies off to Bill and Jack. I’ll
have Silas pack us a lunch. We’ll eat
in the orange grove, then look over the trees.
After that we have a little errand to run.”
“An errand?” Victoria questioned.
“Yeah.
Me and Heath need to pay a visit to George Barnsworth. We have some business to take care of with
him.”
“Business?”
Nick looked at Heath and smiled. “We need to let him know that there’s just
some things you can’t get away with sayin’ to a Barkley.”
“I see.
Well, that does sound like important business. You boys take care of it in whatever way you see fit.”
Nick’s smile was transferred to his
mother. “I thought you’d say that.”
Nick shoveled his eggs in his mouth then
gulped his orange juice in three swallows.
He tousled Heath’s hair as he stood.
“Come on, little brother. Day’s a wastin’.”
Victoria smiled to herself when Heath jumped
from his chair and ran after Nick with open devotion written all over his young
face. She turned to Audra who was
smiling as well, as though she knew exactly what was transpiring in her
household.
Victoria dabbed at her daughter’s mouth
with a napkin.
“Audra,
I do believe your brothers are on their way to becoming life-long friends.”
The woman turned and looked out the
window. She watched as one dark head
and one blond head disappeared together into the barn. She had a feeling this was a scene she’d
watch over and over again for many years to come.
Victoria looked up when she heard the front
door shut. She was in Tom’s office
balancing the books as she did every month.
Audra was spending the morning with Phillip’s wife so Victoria could go
about her work uninterrupted.
The woman smiled when she saw Heath peer
around the corner.
“I thought you and Nick were already off
doing all those things Nick said needed tending to.”
“Not yet.”
Heath approached the desk without hesitation, his hands clasped behind
his back. “Nick’s helping some of the men fix one of the corral fences. The new stallion broke a board on it this
morning. I got our horses ready so now
I’m just waiting for him.”
“I’m sure he’ll be along in a few minutes.”
“Yeah, he will.” Heath dropped his eyes.
“I...I have something for you.”
“For me?”
Heath produced two wrapped packages from
behind his back. “I was gonna give these
to you for Christmas, but...”
Victoria moved out from behind the desk and
led Heath over to the sofa. She sat
down next to him and took the presents he handed her.
“But what, Heath?”
The boy shrugged.
“They’re
not fancy like the pin Jarrod bought you.
And they don’t smell nice like the perfume Nick bought you. After I saw what they gave you I didn’t
think the presents I had for you were good enough. But I didn’t have the money to buy you anything from a
store. I send all the money I earn
working for Papa to Rachel and Hannah.”
“You do?
Does Papa know that?”
“I don’t think so. I mean, I never told him. He said I could do whatever I want with my
money.”
“He’s right, you can. And I think it’s very generous of you to
send your allowance to Rachel and Hannah.”
“They need it. I have so much now and they both have to work real hard to make a
living. I promised my mother I’d always
take care of Rachel and Hannah ‘cause they always took care of us.”
“You have a very loving spirit, Heath, and
don’t you ever let anyone tell you differently. When Papa gets back from San Francisco you talk to him about what
you’ve been doing. I think he’ll come
up with another plan to assist Rachel and Hannah in such a way that you won’t
have to give up the allowance you work so hard for.”
“Okay.
But I don’t take charity.”
“I know that,” Victoria smiled. “And so does Papa. I’m sure the two of you can negotiate a deal that will allow you
to better provide for Rachel and Hannah over and above what you’ve already been
sending them.”
The woman looked down at the gifts in her
lap. “Do you want me to open these
now?”
“I guess.
But you might not like them.”
“I’m sure I’ll love them.”
Heath looked doubtful as Victoria unwrapped
the first gift. The necklace was just
like the one Heath had given Audra.
Colorful wooden beads were strung on a soft string of leather that tied
at the back of her neck. Victoria
immediately put the necklace on.
“It’s beautiful, honey. And it’s just the right length.”
“Miss Wellington tried it on for me so I
knew just where to cut the strings.”
Heath bit his lower lip. “I...I
made one for my mother, too...but...but I know now she won’t be able to have it
so I’m going to send it to Rachel. I’ll
make one for Hannah, too, so she doesn’t feel bad.”
Victoria couldn’t speak around the lump in
her throat. Her hat was off to Leah
Thomson. What a special little boy she
had raised.
“I’m sure Rachel and Hannah will be
thrilled with their necklaces. When you
get them done you and I and Papa will drive to Strawberry so you can deliver
them personally.”
“Really?
Can we? Can I really go back for
a visit?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“I’d like that. Can Nick and Audra come, too?
And Jarrod if he’s home?”
“Certainly. The whole family will go.”
“That will be great. Rachel loves company. She makes the most delicious pies. If she knows we’re coming she’ll cook all
day.”
“That alone makes the trip sound worth it
to me.”
“Me, too.”
Victoria unwrapped the second gift. A brown leather purse appeared from the
folds of the paper. It was trimmed with
beaded tassels and closed on top with a drawstring making Victoria think of
what she’d seen Indian women carry.
Victoria knew hours of craftsmanship had gone into making the gift.
“Oh, Heath, it’s beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.”
Heath beamed as he said, “Turn it over.”
Victoria did as she was told. She saw the names of her children burnished
deep in the purse’s underside. She ran
her fingers over the letters that formed Jarrod, then the ones that spelled
Nick, then the ones that said Audra.
She looked at the boy sitting next to her.
“This is a wonderful gift, Heath. But I think you have a little more work to
do before it’s complete.”
Heath studied the bag, not certain what
he’d missed. Ever seam was sewn shut
and every bead strung tight. When he
looked up at Victoria with open puzzlement she gave him a gentle smile.
“You forgot a name, sweetheart.”
“I did?”
“Yes.
You forgot Heath.”
Heath studied his stepmother, then threw
himself forward and wrapped his arms around her waist. Victoria held him close while running a hand
over the back of his head. She didn’t
tell him that by August there would be yet another name to add. She already knew she was in the early stages
of pregnancy, but hadn’t told Tom their family was going to be blessed with yet
another child.
The woman smiled as she thought of her
husband.
Maybe Tom will finally get to make use of
that name he’s so fond of after all.
Eugene. I can’t say it’s one I’d
pick out, but he let me veto it when we finally settled on Jarrod, and then
again when we eventually came to agree upon Nicholas. It’s a good thing Audra was a girl because we never did choose a
boy’s name for her. Once again Tom was
trying to sell me on Eugene. I suppose
I should give in to him this time if another little boy is added to our family.
Victoria turned her
attention back to the boy in her arms.
She heard Heath’s muffled, “My
mother used to call me that all the time.”
“Call you what? Sweetheart?”
“Yes.”
Victoria gently disengaged Heath’s arms
from her waist. When she could look
into his eyes she said, “Perhaps it’s
time we discuss what you want to call me.
I don’t think, after these beautiful gifts, that I want to hear you
calling me ma’am any longer. It sounds
a bit too formal in my opinion.”
“I suppose.”
“Would you like to call me Victoria now
like Papa suggested on the first day you came here?”
Heath thought a moment, then shook his
head. “My mother said you shouldn’t
call adults by their first names. It’s
disrespectful.”
“Your mother was correct about that. I’ve taught your brothers the same
thing. Nonetheless, I think this a special
situation, don’t you? Perhaps we can
overlook the rules this one time.”
“I don’t know,” Heath mused aloud. “I’m not sure it would be right.”
Granted,
he called Rachel and Hannah by their first names but that was different. They’d been his mother’s best friends and
Heath had known them for as long as he could remember.
Victoria patted the child’s knee. “I’ll tell you what, you think it over for a
few days and I’ll do the same. Maybe
between the two of us we can come up with something that will make us both
happy.”
“All right.” Heath glanced out the big windows and saw Nick leading Coco and
Ginger from the barn. “Nick’s
ready. I’d better go.”
The woman stood and walked with Heath to
the doorway of the study. “Have a good
day. And thank you again for the gifts,
Heath. I couldn’t love them any more
had they come from the most expensive store in New York City.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“I’m glad.”
Victoria watched the boy race for the
door. She marveled at the transformation
that had taken place in less than twenty-four hours.
The woman headed back to her work. She almost fell over when accosted from
behind by two arms that encircled her waist.
She turned around to see a familiar golden head buried in her skirts.
“I decided,” Heath said.
“Decided what?”
“If you’re going to call me sweetheart...”
“Yes?”
“Then I’d like to call you mother.”
Victoria crouched down so she could give
Heath a proper hug. She kissed his cheek
then pressed her face against his. She
didn’t have to voice her approval to him, when he felt her tears against his
skin he knew he had made her happy.
When Victoria finally pulled away from
Heath she cupped his face in her hands and placed a final kiss on his
forehead. “I’m so lucky, Heath. I’m so very lucky. I have four beautiful children named Jarrod, Nick, Heath, and
Audra. Each and every one of those
children fills my heart with joy.”
Victoria released the smiling boy, then turned him toward the door and gave him a playful whack on the behind.
“Go on with you now so I can get my work
done. Have a fun day with Nick.”
“I will.”
Heath ran from the room, only to appear again seconds later. “Oh, I need to ask you one more thing.”
“Yes?”
“Do you promise you won’t tan our hides if
we give George Barnsworth what he has coming?”
Victoria saw the twinkle in Heath’s eye and
knew she was being teased.
“Let’s put it this way, son, what I don’t
know I can’t dish out punishments for, right?”
“Right.”
Heath whirled away with a smile. Victoria heard his boot heels pound across
the foyer, then the slam of the front door.
Until this moment she hadn’t realized how much she’d missed having a
little boy in the house.
Victoria crossed to the windows and watched
Heath race across the yard.
“Come on, Nick, we gotta go! Boy howdy, but this will be great! Mother says she won’t even tan our hides for
giving George Barnsworth what he deserves!”
Victoria laughed while cocking an
eyebrow. “Boy howdy? Now there’s an expression I haven’t heard
before.”
And somehow, deep inside her soul, Victoria
Barkley knew that was one expression she’d come to grow fond of over the many
years that were to follow.
~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~