Chapter
33
By
the time Johnny had showered, dressed, shaved, brushed his teeth, and combed
his hair, the crowd of boys who had followed him into the big locker room had
lost interest in the paramedic, save for Shen Bo. The seven year old patiently waited on a bench, his reed-thin
legs swinging back and forth in idle rhythm.
Johnny
caught the child's eyes in the mirror as he finished combing his hair.
"Where'd
the other boys go?"
"Play
da' baseball."
"How
come you're not playing baseball with them?"
"I
wait you, Misser Honey. I show you
where food house is."
"You
don't have to stay. I can find the mess
hall by myself."
The
boy shrugged. "Shen Bo no
care. Shen Bo 'elp Misser Tinkle 'cause
he no walk so good. You walk no so
good, too, just like Misser Tinkle.
Shen Bo now 'elp you."
Johnny
didn’t make a response as he gathered the toiletries that had been donated for
his use and put them in an empty locker Shen Bo pointed out. John then bundled up his dirty clothes, as
well as the towel and washcloth he'd used.
He dumped everything in a large laundry hamper that was on wheels and
resided in one corner of the room.
"You
name on ‘em, Misser Honey?"
Johnny
turned from the hamper. "What?"
"You
name? It say so on clothes?"
Now
Johnny understood what the boy was asking.
It was a time honored camp tradition for the tags on the inside of
clothing to be marked with the owner's name.
The paramedic smiled as he limped past the boy.
"I
think the ladies who do the laundry will know they belong to me."
The
boy nodded his agreement. He jumped off
the bench, scurrying to Johnny's side and taking his hand. "How you hurt leg?"
"I.
. .I had an accident."
"You
step on mine?"
"Huh?"
"Mine.
In ground. Go boom! You step on?"
Johnny
pushed the heavy metal door open and walked outside. The refreshing wilderness smells he’d noticed earlier washed over
him once again. "No, I didn't
step on a mine."
"Soldiers
come? Shoot leg?"
"No. No one shot me."
"Then
how?"
"Just.
. .it was just an accident."
"It
get okay?"
"What?"
"Fixed?
Leg be fixed?"
"If
you mean will it get better, I don't know." Johnny ignored the inner voice that reminded him his leg would
indeed get better, if only he did what his doctors and physical therapist had
prescribed. "Maybe."
"Mother
- soldiers come. Shoot. She no get better." Shen Bo bowed his head and bit his lower lip
to keep it from trembling.
"Die."
Johnny
looked down at the boy. "Your
mom?"
The
boy nodded.
"I'm
sorry."
Shen
Bo was silent a few moments longer as he walked with Johnny to the mess
hall. Finally he lifted his head and
squared his shoulders.
"Tess
say Mother in Heaven. Tess say Mother
happy all time now. You think, Misser
Honey?"
"First
of all, you don't have to call me mister.
Just call me Johnny."
Shen
Bo smiled. "Misser Honey."
"Johnny."
"Misser
Honey."
Slowly,
and with precise enunciation, the paramedic said his name, breaking it into two
parts for the boy.
"John-John-John-John-ny.
Johnny."
"Misser
Hon-Hon-Hon-Honey."
"No,
not Honey. Johnny.”
“Misser
Honey.”
“No,
it’s--” John tried, but he couldn’t stay exasperated at the upturned face that
rarely went without a big smile. “Never
mind. Mister Honey is fine I
suppose.”
Knowing
he was going to locate a phone right after he ate and call someone to come get
him, and knowing that person was not going to be Roy, caused Johnny to
add, “But if a short guy with a bushy
mustache shows up here, just don’t call me anything, okay?”
Though
Shen Bo had no idea what the paramedic meant, he grinned and promised, “Okay.”
Now
that the issue of Johnny's name was resolved, Shen Bo repeated his original
question. "Misser Honey, you think
Mother happy in Heaven?"
Eyes
filled with complete trust gazed up at John.
Because of that the paramedic couldn't say anything but, "Yes, Shen
Bo. I'm sure she is."
"That
good. Shen Bo want Mother be
happy. War make Mother much sad. Now she be happy all time 'cause Heaven nice
place. Like here. Here nice place, too. You think?"
Before
Johnny had the opportunity to decide how he felt about his current predicament
and give the boy an answer, they entered the Heavenly Helpings Mess Hall. Three rows of cafeteria tables six deep
filled the room with beige metal chairs surrounding them. A long silver counter was at the far end of
the hall, the open kitchen behind it.
Steam escaped from the closed lids of the square stainless steel
containers women were dropping into heated slots. Johnny's stomach gave another rumble as the smell of baked
chicken, roast beef, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, corn, carrots, and
dinner rolls, filled the mess hall.
Shen
Bo cupped his hands over his mouth and shouted, "I ring bell, Tess?"
The
black woman turned from where she stood at an industrial size stove four times
as wide as she was. "Sure,
baby. You go out and ring the dinner
bell for ole’ Tess."
Shen
Bo dropped Johnny's hand. "I be
back, Misser Honey!" He raced for
the door.
Johnny
heard the clang of an ancient fire bell as the boy repeatedly tugged the rope.
He glanced out the window and saw the child being lifted off his feet each time
the rope rose up.
Tess
motioned to the paramedic with a wave of her hand.
"John,
you come up here and fill your plate before the children arrive."
"I
can wait until they're done."
Tess
chuckled. "Baby, if you wait until
we get all those young 'uns fed it'll be another thirty minutes 'for food gets
in your stomach." The woman eyed
the man from head to toe. "And I don't
need me no medical degree to know you have to eat. The sooner the better. Now come on with you. Come on."
Johnny
reluctantly walked to the front of the building. If the eight women assisting Tess wondered where he'd come from,
or why he wasn't in prime physical condition for a man his age, they'd didn't
voice their thoughts. None of them were
under sixty years old, and all had a matronly air about them with their grey
hair tucked beneath hair nets, shapeless flowered dresses, support stockings,
and thick-soled orthopedic shoes.
Tess
handed Johnny a red plastic tray with divided sections. She waved him down the line.
"Move
along. Let the girls fill your tray.
And I expect you to eat everything they give you, then come back for
seconds when you're done."
Johnny
looked around the hall as he slowly limped down the line. Food was piled on his tray as he walked,
none of the women the least bit concerned about asking him whether or not he
preferred chicken to beef, or carrots to corn, or stuffing to rolls, but
instead giving him helpings of everything.
"Is
there a phone in here?"
Tess
turned from the stove where she was stirring a pot of gravy.
"Pardon?"
"A
phone? Do you have one?"
"
'Course we have a phone. This is
Heaven, not Hootersville. Can't have this many children gathered in one place
without the ability to call for a doctor if we need to."
"Can
I use it?"
"No."
"What?"
"You
heard me."
"But--"
The
screen door banged open. Campers burst
into the mess hall, making it come alive with chatter, giggles, and
shouts.
"Now
go and take a seat before these kids run you over."
"But
I just want to--"
"I
know what you wanna do. You wanna call
Mr. Chet Kelly to come pick you up. You
won't call your best friend because you're too stubborn, and too ashamed, to
admit to Roy you did something foolish by lightin' out in that truck-car gizmo
you drive when you were angry, exhausted, and hungover. You're too ashamed to admit to Roy that you
fell asleep at the wheel and could have gotten yourself killed, not to mention
what could have happened to the children, or that cantankerous Leeland Hinkle,
if the Lord hadn't been watching over them.
No, baby, you don't need to use the phone. You need to stay here in Heaven, right where God wants you to
be."
"But--"
"The
only 'but' I wanna see is your skinny butt gettin' outta my line and taken a
seat at a table. Now move it!"
Tess's tone carried more authority than Hank
Stanley's ever had. Johnny squelched
his argument about the phone and did as she ordered.
It's
not like I'm under arrest. I can find a phone after supper and call Chet. Shen Bo seems to know everything about this
camp. He'll be able to tell me where
the phone is.
Johnny
chose to get as far away from Tess as possible. He headed for a deserted table at the back of the mess hall and
sat in a corner chair. The woman's
uncanny ability to read his mind, or so it seemed anyway, unnerved him. In truth the paramedic knew she must have come
by some of her knowledge - like her awareness of Chet's name, from hanging around
the halls of Rampart. But how she knew
what he was feeling inside was beyond Johnny's ability to guess, other than to
say she was the most perceptive person he'd ever met.
Johnny
had just swallowed his first mouthful of deliciously moist chicken when a
slender shadow fell over him.
“Is
this seat taken?”
The
paramedic’s eyes traveled to the empty chairs surrounding him.
“That’s
not exactly the most original pick up line considering.”
“I
didn’t intend for it to be a pick up line.”
The woman’s Irish brogue came through strongly as she set her tray on
the table and pulled out the chair on Johnny’s left. “I thought perhaps you were saving it for Shen Bo. He’s taken quite a liking to you, Mr. Gage.”
“First
of all, I’m a little too old to be saving someone a seat. And second of all, Shen Bo would probably
take a liking to a tree if someone told him it needed his help.”
The
woman smiled. “That’s our Shen Bo. He has quite the loving heart. Don’t you think?”
“I
suppose.”
“I’m
Monica, by the way.”
“I
remember you.”
“You
do?”
“Yeah. You were at Rampart a couple months
back. Student chaplain, right?”
“Correct. I visited you several times when you were in
Intensive Care. Do you remember?”
“Vaguely.”
“I
wanted to visit you again, after you were moved to a regular room, but Tess
said you didn’t want to see me.”
Johnny
wouldn’t make eye contact with the woman as he gave a casual shrug of his left
shoulder. “Wasn’t in the mood to see
much of anyone.”
“I
know.”
The
paramedic had no desire to talk about the time he’d spent at Rampart, or the
accident that had landed him there, so changed the subject while cutting his
roast beef.
“So,
what brings you here?”
“Same
thing that brought you.”
“What
would that be?”
“I
volunteered.”
“Well,
I didn’t.”
“Sure
you did.”
“I
did not. I--”
“But
your name is on Tess’s list.”
“Not
because I put it there.”
“I
see. Well now, it doesn’t make much difference anyway, does it?”
Johnny
didn’t answer the woman as his eyes tracked the children as they began to take
seats around the room. There seemed to
be a fairly even mix of boys to girls.
The youngest amongst them appeared to be about four, the oldest
fourteen. Some were missing limbs and
making use of prosthetic devices, while others relied on crutches or simply got
by with only one arm. Other children
had just one eye, several sported hearing aids, and a number of the kids had
burn scars on various parts of their bodies.
“Mr.
Gage?” Monica’s voice beckoned.
“Huh?”
“I
said it doesn’t make much difference anyway, does it?”
“What
doesn’t make much difference?”
“That
you’re here with us. As a
volunteer. It doesn’t make much
difference as to how that came about.”
“What
makes you think that?”
“Oh,
but the fresh air and sunshine, mixed with the laughter of children, is so much
nicer than moping around a stuffy apartment with all the drapes closed,
wouldn’t you agree?”
Johnny
stared at the woman. “How did you. .
.never mind.”
Johnny
could have sworn he saw a twinkle in Monica’s eyes when she asked, “Never mind what?”
“Forget
it. Doesn’t matter.” Johnny looked
around the room while taking a swig of milk from the carton sitting on his
tray. He ate some beef and took a bite
of a dinner roll, then asked, “What’s
with all these kids?”
“What’s
with them?”
“Yeah. How’d they get here?”
“The
congregation of the First Church Of Heaven sponsored them.”
“Sponsored
them?”
“Brought
them over from Vietnam. This camp is
owned jointly by a number of churches in the county. They’re graciously allowing us to use it until the children are
placed.”
“Placed
where?”
“In
homes, of course. Many of them have
American fathers, like Shen Bo. Most of
those men don’t even know their child exists.”
“So
you’re just going to spring that on them?
Just drop a kid on his dad’s doorstep and say, ‘Here you go. You left a little something behind in
Vietnam.’ ”
“No,
we’re not just going to ‘spring’ that news on anyone. If we can, and with the Lord’s help, we’ll reunite as many
children as possible with their American fathers. But, for those who are truly orphans, or for those whose fathers
can’t be found or won’t accept them, we hope to find suitable homes into which
they can be adopted.”
“Pretty
lofty goals. Especially considering the
physical problems some of these kids have.
Not to mention that some of them must suffer mental trauma from all
they’ve been through.”
“Some
do. But no more or less than any of us
suffer after we’ve experienced a heartbreaking situation. They will survive, Mr. Gage. Survive and thrive, as Tess says, just as
you can survive and thrive if you put your mind to it.”
Johnny
met the woman’s eyes. He saw nothing
there but good intentions, even if her words did tick him off. The paramedic decided another change of
subject was in order.
“Listen,
when we’re finished eating can you take me to a phone?”
“No.”
“No?”
“No
unauthorized use of the phone. Those
are Tess’s rules.”
“This
isn’t a prison. You can’t keep me
here.”
“That’s
true. We want you to stay only if
that’s what your heart tells you to do.
But the trouble, Mr. Gage, is that you haven’t given your heart time to
make a decision.”
“And
if I do, and that decision is that I still want to leave?”
“Then
Tess will allow you to call your friend Chet.
Or maybe your stubbornness will kick in and you’ll just walk out our
front gates and hitchhike back to Los Angeles.”
“Don’t
think I haven’t already considered it.”
“I
assume you have. After all, you are a
man of action. That’s what I like about
you, Mr. Gage.”
If
the woman wasn’t a chaplain, Johnny would be certain he was being hit on.
“You
can call me John.”
“I
thought your friends called you Johnny.”
“They
do.”
“So
may I call you that, too?”
“If
you want. Makes no difference to
me. And. . .uh. . .maybe you shouldn’t
say things like that to guys.”
“Things
like what?”
“Like
that. . .like that I’m a man of action.
It
sounds. . .”
“It
sounds how?”
“Um.
. .” Johnny eyed the woman. She was dressed casually enough in blue
jeans and a short sleeved denim shirt, but the clerical collar she wore around
her neck today clearly spoke of what she represented. “Well. . .it sounds. . .it just
sounds. . .”
“Like
I’m trying to get a date?”
“Uh.
. .yeah. Something like that.”
“And
you think I don’t date?”
“I.
. .I don’t know. You. . .” Johnny gave a vague wave toward Monica’s
neck with his fork. “You’re a. . .a. .
.”
“I’m
a chaplain, Johnny, not a priest.
There’s a difference, you know.”
“Yeah,
I know. It’s just that you. . .I. .
.uh. . .
well. . .”
“I
make you uncomfortable?”
“Only
when you say things that make it sound like we’re a couple of lonely hearts in
a dive on a Saturday night.”
“A
dive?”
“A
dump.”
“A
dump? Why would we be at a place where
garbage is left? That doesn’t sound very appealing. Not to mention the smell.”
“What
I mean is a run down bar.”
“Why
would we be in a run down bar? I, for
one, am not the type of woman who sits in bars. And I have a strong inclination that tells me you’re not the kind
of man who seeks company in such places.”
“Forget
I mentioned it.”
“Okay. But see, you just admitted it. Your heart is lonely, so A Little Bit
Of Heaven is just the place for you.”
“I
didn’t admit anything! Look, lady, if
no one’s ever told you this before, you and Tess are two of the nosiest women
I’ve ever--” Before Johnny could finished his sentence Shen Bo spotted him and
headed straight for his table. He
grinned as he sat next to the paramedic.
“I
eat wif you, Misser Honey.”
Great. A chaplain on my left and Little Mr.
Sunshine on my right. I’m already sick
of Heaven and I just woke up here two hours ago.
“You happy I eat wif you, Misser
Honey?”
“Sure,
Bo. Sure.”
“Bo?”
“Sorry. Shen Bo.”
“I
like ‘dat. Bo. I Bo now.”
Monica
smiled and said quietly, “I think Shen Bo has a bad case of hero worship for
you, Johnny.”
Johnny
shrugged again. “He just needs someone to look up to. If it’s not me it’ll be the next guy who comes along.”
“All
these children need someone to look up to.”
Monica’s eyes traveled the room, seeming to take in every young face,
before returning to the paramedic. “And
there’s always a danger in that person simply being ‘the next guy who comes
along.’ ”
“Whatta
ya’ mean by that?”
“I
mean that a child needs to look up to a man who conducts himself in admirable
fashion. A man who sets high standards
for himself in terms of his behavior and how he treats others. A man the child can emulate and learn from.”
“Well,
in case you haven’t heard, I’m not that guy.”
“To
coin your phrase, whatta ya’ mean by that?”
“No
kid should want to emulate me. I let
ten people die. And don’t look so
shocked. Tess said there’s no secrets
in Heaven, so I imagine you already knew that.
If you didn’t, all you have to do is read the L.A. Times.”
With
that Johnny picked up his empty tray.
He limped away from Monica as fast as his leg would allow, put his tray
and silverware on a cart set out for the purpose of collecting dirty dishes,
and pushed open a side door.
Though
he hadn’t finished his supper, Shen Bo hopped off his chair and raced after the
man. When Tess caught Monica’s eyes
from across the room the young woman simply shrugged. She couldn’t predict what John Gage would do next. And though she was an angel, she wasn’t
allowed to interfere with his choice, regardless of how wrong. . .or
devastating it might prove to be.
___________________________
“Misser
Honey! Misser Honey!”
Johnny
ignored the boy calling his name and kept walking.
“Misser
Honey, wait me!”
Johnny
didn’t slow his pace, but with his leg the way it was the child had no
difficulty catching up with him.
“Where
you go?”
“Nowhere.”
“You
no eat da’ pies. Tess make good
pies. All kids who clean plates, get
pie. You clean you plate, so you get
da’ pie, too.”
“I
don’t want pie.”
Shen
Bo’s eyes widen. “You don’t?”
“No.”
“What
you want? Tess make cookies, too. You like cookies?”
“What
I want is to use a phone.”
“Phone?”
Johnny
stopped walking. Being mindful of his
leg, he crouched down so he was eye level with the boy. “A telephone. You know what that is?”
“Yes. You talk people on it.”
“That’s
right. Do you know where I can find
one?”
“Yes.”
“Where?”
Shen
Bo pointed to the clapboard building. “There.”
The
man stood. With Shen Bo at his side, he
set out for the white structure. Johnny
pulled the screen door open, but hesitated a moment before stepping inside. He looked around the room. Like he had suspected earlier, this appeared
to be the camp’s office. Black file
cabinet’s lined two walls, and a gunmetal grey desk resided on the wall
opposite the door. A typewriter sat on
a wing that jutted from the desk, while a phone rested on top of it with a
stapler and Scotch Tape dispenser next to it.
To his left, Johnny could see another office. He entered the building with Shen Bo at his heels, making sure
the door closed silently behind them.
He crossed to the doorway of the inner office. It was set up similar to the outer office, only minus the filing
cabinets. When the paramedic had
determined the building was empty he headed for the phone.
“Who
you call?” Shen Bo asked.
“A
friend.”
“Why?”
“Just
because I need to. Now be quiet.”
Shen
Bo stood by Johnny as he dialed. But
when the paramedic failed to reach Chet Kelly, and then had no luck reaching
Marco Lopez, Charlie Dwyer, or Mike Stoker, the boy grew bored. He watched as Johnny dialed another number
from memory.
“Who
you call know?”
“A
friend of mine from Station 8.”
What
that meant Shen Bo didn’t know, but as far as he could tell none of Mr. Honey’s
friends had been home so far. He
wondered how many more friends Mr. Honey might have, and how much longer he
might be holed up in this office. The
boy wandered over to the window. He
spotted the gleaming twin John Deere lawn mowers parked in front of the
maintenance building. He looked back at
Johnny. The man was dialing yet another
phone number.
Shen
Bo quietly opened the door and slipped outside. He knew he wasn’t supposed to be near the lawn mowers because
Andrew had chased him away from them more than once. But Andrew was nowhere in sight, and everyone else was still in
the mess hall eating.
The
boy ran the last one hundred feet to the tractors. He looked around while casually circling the mowers. When Andrew still didn’t appear, he climbed
on the one closest to him.
Shen
Bo had no fear of the lawn mowers.
After all, an American soldier had once let him drive an Army Jeep. Granted, he was sitting in the man’s lap at
the time, and the man was actually the one working the gas pedal and steering,
but still, it felt to Shen Bo like he was driving. Besides, a lawn mower was a lot smaller than a Jeep. It was just the right size for a seven-year
old boy who possessed too much curiosity for his own good. Or so Tess always
said.
At
first Shen Bo was satisfied to bounce in the seat while pretending to
drive. He made motor noises by blowing
air out of his lips and turned the steering wheel to the right, and then to the
left, and the back to the right again.
Trouble was, you didn’t really go anywhere this way. It would be a lot more fun to take a real
ride.
The
key residing in the ignition was too much temptation for Shen Bo to
resist. He turned it to the right, not
even flinching when the motor came to life.
The boy grinned. He waited a
moment, and when the mower didn’t move his grin turned to a frown. He looked down. There was a lever between his legs, as well as a pedal on the
left and one on the right. He was
pretty sure the one on the left was the brake, which meant the one on the right
made the mower move. Or at least that
the way the pedals worked in the Jeep.
He leaned as far forward as he could without falling off the seat. His right foot barely reached the gas pedal,
but when it touched it the engine revved and exhaust billowed up behind
him.
Shen
Bo was happy with his accomplishments thus far, but not happy enough. He still wanted to take a ride. He remembered the gearshift that was in the
Army Jeep, and how when the soldier moved it they’d go backwards or
forwards. Shen Bo reached down and moved
the lever up two notches. The mower
remained stationary until he pressed on the gas pedal again. The boy’s body whipped forward and backward
in the seat as the mower shot ahead.
The
child panicked when he realized he couldn’t control the machine. He leaned forward to get a better grip on
the steering wheel, not realizing as he did so that his foot was pressing the
gas pedal to the floor board. The mower
took off, bouncing Shen Bo over uneven ground.
The boy’s left thigh was thrown against another lever that engaged the
blades. Shen Bo didn’t know what the
roaring was coming from beneath the mower, but now he was scared.
“Misser
Honey! Misser Honey! ‘Elp!
‘Elp! Misser Honey, ‘elp Shen
Bo!”
The
mower raced in a wild circle as the boy frantically turned the wheel.
“Misser
Honey! Misser Honey! ‘Elp!
‘Elp Shen Bo! ‘Elp!”
The
mower tilted on two wheels a brief second, then fell back to the ground. Over the sound of the engine and blames,
Shen Bo screamed for Johnny one more time.
___________________________
John
slammed down the phone. He’d tried calling
seven different guys, and not one of them was home. Of course, it was Saturday evening, which probably explained a
lot, but at this rate he wasn’t going to get out of Heaven tonight. He thought of Roy, reached for the phone,
then put it back down. No way was he
calling his partner. He wasn’t calling
Roy, or the person who would have normally been his next choice - Dixie. He wasn’t calling either of them. He’d do just what Monica said and hitchhike
back to L.A. before asking Roy or Dixie to come get him.
Johnny
thought of a another guy he knew, a friend who worked at Station 24, and had
just reached for the phone again when a child’s screams drifted in through the
screen door.
“Misser
Honey! ‘Elp! Elp Shen Bo! Misser
Honey! Misser Honey!”
Johnny
had been around Roy’s children enough to recognize the difference between a kid
goofing around, and kid frightened out of his wits. This scream was definitely the latter.
The
paramedic flew out the door, forcing his injured leg to work to his
advantage. The limp was present as
Johnny ran, but he didn’t allow it to slow him down.
Johnny
raced for the mower as chunks of earth ricocheted from its tires. He could hear the blades churning, and by
the speed of the mower knew how easily it could tip. He’d been on enough calls involving children and lawnmowers to
know the disastrous results. He was
picturing a severed limb or sliced artery as eyes wide with terror looked to
him for help.
“Misser
Honey! Misser Honey!”
Johnny
ran behind the mower, following its course to pick up its rhythm. When he was confident he had the timing
right he leaped onto the back and scrambled into the seat. John grabbed Shen Bo around the waist with
one hand while using the other to grab the steering wheel. He nudged the boy’s foot off the
accelerator, then pressed on the brake.
With a startled jerk the mower came to a halt.
Shen
Bo slumped forward, his small body shaking.
Sweat ran down Johnny’s face and he gulped for air while clinging
tightly to the boy. The paramedic
glanced to his left when the mess hall door he had exited twenty minutes
earlier flew open. Tess was wiping her
hands on a dish towel as she ran. A
blond man dress in navy blue cotton trousers and a short sleeve navy shirt with
a name patch sewn over the pocket followed.
“Shen
Bo! Shen Bo!” Tess cupped the boy’s face in her hands. “Shen Bo, are you all
right?”
Tears
ran down Shen Bo’s cheeks. “Shen. .
.Shen Bo okay, Tess. I. . .I sorry,
Tess. I bad boy. I know I bad boy.”
“What
were doing on this lawnmower, young man?
I looked out the window and saw you spinning in circles and almost had
me a heart attack.”
“Like.
. .like Mr. Tinkle?”
“Yes,
just like Mr. Hinkle. Now what did you
think you were doing? Andrew’s told you
more than once to stay away from the equipment.”
“I
drive, Tess. Shen Bo drive mower like
American Army Jeep. Only mower go too
fast.”
“I
could see that.”
“It’s
my fault, Tess,” Andrew apologized. “I shouldn’t have left the keys in the
ignition.”
“No,
you shouldn’t have. But it wasn’t your
fault alone, Andrew. Shen Bo must take
his responsibility in all this, and Mr. Gage must take his, as well.”
“Me?” Johnny questioned. “What did I do?”
“Misser
Honey save Shen Bo’s life, Tess. Misser
Honey not bad boy.”
“Well
now, I could debate that.” Tess fixed
her gaze on Johnny. “And just where
were you when this youngster took a notion
to climb on this lawnmower like it was some kinda carnival ride put here for
his amusement?”
“I.
. .I. . .look, I ate my supper like you wanted me to, then I left the mess
hall. I didn’t ask Shen Bo to come with
me. He followed me, but I guess he got
bored.”
“Got
bored watching you make phone calls?”
Johnny’s
jaw set as he averted his eyes. He
wasn’t about to allow this woman to chastise him for the foolish actions of a
seven year old child.
Tess
waited a few seconds, but when the paramedic refused to answer her let out a
frustrated sigh. “All right, get on off
there now. Let Andrew put these mowers
where they belong. And this time,
Andrew, take the keys out of them please.”
“Yes,
Ma’am.”
Johnny
climbed off the mower, then lifted Shen Bo to the ground.
Tess
pointed a stern finger at the paramedic and the child. “And you two, try not to get into anymore
trouble before lights out. The children
like to play dodge ball after supper, Mr. Gage. If you’re not familiar with the game I’m sure Shen Bo can explain
it to you.”
“I’m
familiar with it, but--”
“Don’t
start buttin’ me again because I’m not in the mood. As evidenced by the stunt Shen Bo just pulled these children are
like innocent little lambs in bad need of a shepherd. It appears to me as
though you’ve got two choices here, John.
Either be their shepherd, or spend your time holed up in that there
office making phone calls to people who aren’t home. I can’t make the choice for you, but I can surely tell you which
one will be the more productive, and rewarding, use of your time.”
With
that Tess turned on the heel of one pumpkin orange tennis shoe and stomped
toward the mess hall. The men watched
until she entered the structure and the door slammed behind her.
Andrew
stifled a smile. “Whew. Was she
mad.” He held out his hand to Johnny.
“Hi. We haven’t met yet. I’m Andrew.”
Johnny
shook the man’s hand. “John. John Gage.”
“Yeah,
I know. We were waiting for you to arrive.”
“So
I’ve been told.”
Andrew
gestured toward the lawnmowers. “Guess I’d better get these put away before
Tess comes back out here.”
“Guess
so.”
The
Angel Of Death patted Shen Bo on his dark head. “That was a close call, buddy.
I don’t want to see you near these mowers again. Understand?”
“Shen
Bo underhand.”
“Considering
you told me that last week, and the week before, I’ll believe it when I see
it,” Andrew said as he climbed on the
mower Shen Bo had been riding.
“I
‘member now, Andrew. And if Shen Bo
forget - Misser Honey, he my friend. He
‘mind me.”
“I’ll
remind you all right,” Johnny said
sternly. “With a swat to your rear
end.”
As
Andrew started the mower and began steering it toward the building the boy hung
his head.
“Shen
Bo sorry, Misser Honey. You mad
now. You no be Shen Bo’s friend no
more? Misser Tinkle say Shen Bo bad
yellow So An’ So. You say same thing
now?”
Boy
kid, you do a better job at tugging on my heartstrings than Chris and
Jennifer DeSoto, and I thought they had the market cornered where I’m
concerned.
The paramedic dropped to his right knee
while carefully keeping his left leg straight.
He had a difficult time balancing himself in this position, but managed
to stay upright as he cupped a hand beneath the boy’s chin.
“Shen
Bo. Bo, look at me.”
The
boy slowly raised his head.
“Bo,
I am angry with you. . .mad at you, for what you did. Evidently Andrew has told you before to stay away from these
lawnmowers. There’s a reason he told
you that, and the reason is they can be very dangerous when handled by a little
boy. You could have gotten hurt, or
killed even, and that would have made me sad.”
“Really? You be sad if Shen Bo die?”
“I
certainly would be.”
“Then
you still Shen Bo’s friend?”
“I
am. And another thing.”
“What?”
“You’re
not a yellow So And So. Mr. Hinkle
shouldn’t have called you that. He
shouldn’t have called anyone that.”
“That
okay. I never mind. Mr. Tinkle. . .he no feel good lots of
days. He crappy.”
“I
understand that, but it still doesn’t give him an excuse to say things like
that to you.”
“You
no say those things Shen Bo even when you be very mad?”
“No. I would never say those things to you even
if I was very mad.” Johnny reached out
his right hand. “How about if you help me to my feet?”
“Sure,
Misser Honey. I ‘elp you even lots more
now than ‘fore ‘cause you save Shen Bo’s life.”
The
paramedic got to a standing position with Shen Bo’s help, then tousled the
boy’s hair. “How about if we help one
another for no other reason than we’re friends?”
Shen
Bo’s grin out did the evening sun.
“Shen Bo like that. Shen Bo and
Misser Honey friends. Shen Bo and
Misser Honey help each an other.”
“Sounds
good to me. After all, that’s what
friends are for.”
The
boy clung to Johnny’s hand as he dragged him toward an open field where the
other campers were gathering.
“Come
on, Misser Honey! Let’s go play da’
dodge ball!”
Despite
himself, and his resolve to flee Heaven before the night was over, Johnny
couldn’t help but smile as he allowed Shen Bo to lead him to the playing field.
Clayton
Hastings grabbed the handle of the hinged school bus hood. Though the hood was
heavy, a man Clay's size had to exert little force to slam it closed. He wiped his greasy hands on his
shirt-front, then leaned against the bus's massive wheel well.
Clay
squinted into the setting sun, watching the kids play on a distant field. Despite the no smoking ordinance that bossy
black woman had imposed, Hastings fumbled in his shirt pocket for his pack of
Marlboros and Bic lighter. He tapped
the pack against his left wrist and plucked the first cigarette that
appeared. He stuck one end in his mouth,
cupped a hand around the other, and flicked the lighter. A small yellow flame danced forth. It nipped the end of the cigarette, causing
a thin stream of smoke to pollute the night air. Clay shoved the Marlboros and lighter back in his pocket. His uniform was identical to the one Andrew
was wearing, though his appearance far more rumpled. Clay didn't care whether his trousers were creased, and half the
time didn't bother to tuck his shirttails in, nor notice if a shirt was missing
a button or two. When he climbed into
his small loft apartment above the maintenance building each night, he stripped
off his clothes and left them where they fell.
More often than not he put the same wrinkled, dirty uniform on the next
morning, even though it didn't cost him anything to have his clothes washed
with the rest of the camp laundry on a daily basis.
Clay
took a long drag from his cigarette. At
six foot three inches tall and one hundred and eighty pounds he was lean, but
well muscled. His chest and shoulders were broad, and his biceps bulged from
hours of heavy labor. You name it, he'd
done it. Construction work. Landscaping. Excavating. House painter. Brick layer. Assemblyman in a Ford
factory. He'd been down on his luck for
a while now, which is what brought him to A Little Bit Of Heaven. Dumb name for a camp if you asked him. But
he was hungry, had just two dollars to his name, and an eighth of a tank of gas
in his rusty '64 Chevy pickup when he pulled into this place looking for
work. The black woman - Tess, told Clay
the Lord must have been with him that day because the camp hired very few
employees. Most of the people present
were volunteers. But, Tess did have need of an additional maintenance man, and
had enough money left in her budget to give him a small salary. Small was right, but the free room, along
with three free meals a day, caused Clay to take the position without asking
any questions. Maybe if he had asked a few questions first he would have
gotten back in the Chevy and headed on down the road. He didn't need any reminders of 'Nam, and these kids did nothing but
remind him of that godforsaken hell hole where he’d pulled two tours of duty,
for a total of twenty-six months in-country.
Gone
was the military crew cut Clay had worn as a G.I. Now he sported a greasy
ponytail that fell to the middle of his back.
His mother would have a fit if she could see her son now. The golden blond hair was no longer kept
clean, and the eyes that had once been bright blue were now dull and clouded
from depression, nightmares, and hard living.
The latter including booze, drugs, and one-night stands.
Things
would be so different if only Sue could have forgiven him. They'd been high school sweethearts and
married two weeks after graduation in May of 1966. By mid-July of that year Sue was expecting twins. Clay was drafted when his wife was five
months pregnant. His boys, Jason and
Jeremy, were eight now. He hadn't seen
them in two years. Not since Clay had
gotten that letter from the orphanage in Vietnam telling him he'd fathered a
child with a woman named Lang Tran.
The look on Clay's face had told his wife the truth. Yes, there had been a woman in Vietnam, and
yes her name had been Lang Tran; and yes, she'd been pregnant when he'd broken off
the relationship. It wasn't that hard
for Clay to do - break off what he had with Lang. His unit was ordered out of the area, and besides, it was likely
that she'd been with a lot of men besides him.
Odds were low the kid was even his.
The
minister who signed the letter said otherwise, but the man had no proof, and
that's exactly what Clay told Sue. She
wouldn't cut him any slack though.
Maybe if it hadn't been for the drinking, and the drugs, and the erratic
mood swings, and his inability to hold a job, Sue would have forgiven him the
affair with a woman who meant nothing to him.
Or at least in the sense that he didn't love her like he loved Sue. With
Lang it was nothing but an expression of loneliness and physical needs. With Sue, it was life. She was the woman he'd planned to grow old
with. She was the woman he planned to celebrate his fiftieth wedding
anniversary with and beyond. But no
more. Today the divorce papers had been
delivered by some squat little man who fled the maintenance building when Clay
growled, "Damn her!" swiped the tool bench clean with one fist, and
then punched the wall with the other.
How Sue had found him here; in Heaven, California, Clay had no idea. She hadn't contacted him since the day she'd
kicked him out of the house. He
supposed she'd hired a private detective to track him down. Sue's older sister was married to a rich,
fancy pants lawyer. Money wouldn't be a
problem when it came to dissolving their marriage. Clay's brother-in-law, Allan, was probably doing the legal work
for free, and more than happy to at that.
Clay
tossed his cigarette stub to the gravel and ground it out with the heel of his
work boot. He reached for the wallet he carried in the back pocket of his
trousers and slowly opened it. He
looked down into the smiling faces of his boys. They were identical, both of them possessing their father's
gold-blond hair and sparkling blue eyes. The photographer had posed them
perched sideways - shoulder to shoulder -
on a bright red wooden block.
Sue had dressed them in white button down shirts and matching midnight
blue cardigan sweaters. They were four
years old in this photo. Just little
boys. Now they were eight and Clay,
their father, had no idea what their interests were. Did they play Little League baseball like he did at their
age? Did Jeremy still like Hot
Wheels? Was Jason's favorite food still
baloney sandwiches with ketchup? Were
they still afraid of the dark? Did they
still have their dog Ruffles? Did they
remember that their father gave the Scottish terrier to them for their fifth
birthday, despite their mother saying they were too young for the
responsibility a puppy brought? Did
they remember him? Did they know
Clayton Thomas Hastings was their father, or did Sue refuse to speak his name
in front of them?
The
man snarled as he kicked up rocks and gravel with the toe of one boot. The shrieking of those damn kids got on his
nerves. It was bad enough that he was
constantly having to chase that little pain-in-the-ass, Shen Bo, away from the
maintenance shed. But what was worse
was being a driver of one of the three camp buses when the kids went on an
outing. Since Clay had arrived they'd been to the zoo, a farm, and a museum. Clay could handle it okay when there was
distance between himself and the brats, but when he was forced to deal with
them directly it was almost more than he could take. The memories the children brought forth of his own beloved boys
caused a sharp pain to stab Clay's heart.
Or at least stab his heart until he looked at the features of these
Asian bastards. Then fury overrode the
pain as he thought of Lang Tran and what she'd done to him. She'd gotten pregnant. . .and maybe not even
with his kid, but somehow she'd convinced a preacher intent on doing good works
that Clayton Hastings was the boy's father.
Well, thanks a lot Lang and Mr. Preacher Man. Thanks a million. Because
of a dead woman and a man Clay had never met, his marriage was over.
Clay pried the hinged bus
door open with his fingers. He reached
beneath the driver's seat for his bottle of Jack Daniels. He knew Tess would outlaw this if she
discovered it. Not to mention what
she'd say about his stash of pot and LSD.
But she didn't know Clay had any of those things in his possession, and
he'd be damned if she'd ever find out.
After all, a man deserved comfort where he could find it.
Clay
walked halfway down the aisle carrying his bottle, then slumped to a seat. He stared out the window as twilight began
to fall and thought about how much he hated his life. If he had any guts at all he'd kill himself now and get it over
with. The only thing that kept him from
putting a gun to his head was the hope that, once the divorce was final, he'd
get his shit together, get a decent job back in Minnesota were Sue and the kids
lived, and be able to see his boys again on a regular basis. Be a father to them again.
The
man hunkered farther into the green vinyl seat. He rested one knee on the back of the seat in front of him while
alternating between tipping the bottle to his lips and gazing out the
window. Fifteen minutes later Clay's
blood shot eyes tracked a red Mustang as it slowed down in front of the camp's
entrance, then turned onto the single paved lane that led to the courtyard
where the mess hall and cabins sat. The
driver didn't follow the lane though, but instead turned again and entered the
parking lot. The Mustang was parked
five spaces from the bus. Clay sat up a little straighter when the driver
emerged. Though she was a bit older
than the man normally liked them, and a bit too conservatively dressed for his
current tastes, she was one hell of a looker.
Clay
took another long swig of whiskey and ogled Dixie McCall's rear end as she trekked
toward the courtyard.
Well,
well, well. Things in Heaven just might
have gotten a little brighter. If
nothing else, maybe Clay would get lucky with this woman and find some of that
comfort he so richly deserved.
The
drive out of Heaven had been just as beautiful as the drive in. Rather than farm fields, though, this time
Dixie saw open fields lush with long grass and flowering bushes, thick forests
of pine, maple, oak, and walnut trees, and in the distance, a mountain
range. Dixie slowed when she came to a
railroad crossing. There were no
electronic gates here, but rather just a stop sign with a railroad crossing
sign below it. Dixie eased on her
brakes, then looked right and left. She
saw no train, nor did she hear a whistle so proceeded. She couldn't help but think of Johnny as her
sports car bounced over the tracks.
A
thick wooden arch framed the entrance to the campground and proclaimed in
deeply burnished letters: A LITTLE BIT OF HEAVEN. Though the highway was devoid of other traffic, Dixie clicked on
her right turn signal. She made the
turn onto the camp's private road. The
lane wound ahead through stately old trees.
In the distance Dixie could see a cleared courtyard. She was vaguely able to discern the outline
of buildings. Rather than drive that
far, she turned left into what she assumed served as the camp's parking
lot. Three school buses painted the
same pale blue as Heaven's water tower were parked in the lot. Gold letters on the side identified them as
belonging to A LITTLE BIT OF HEAVEN CAMP.
The body of the buses, like the water tower, depicted angels floating
amongst clouds.
Dixie
didn't see the man watching her from a bus window as she exited her car. She locked the driver's side door and left
her suitcase in the trunk. She wasn't
sure how far beyond Heaven she'd have to drive to get a motel room for the
night, but she concluded someone in the camp's office would be able to give her
directions to the nearest lodging for visitors. Whether she'd be taking Johnny with her or not, Dixie wasn't
certain. That was her plan, provided he
was healthy enough to travel, but that had yet to be seen. The man at the garage - Gil, didn't seem to
think Johnny's injuries were very serious, but who knew how much of that was
true, and how much was simply small-town rumor and gossip.
Dixie
enjoyed her walk up the tree-lined lane.
The sun was beginning to set, and with it, the heat of the July day was
rapidly dissipating. The nurse had
never been to summer camp as a child.
Nonetheless; Dixie knew she was in the main courtyard when she reached a
paved open area surrounded by buildings.
In the center of the courtyard a flagpole rose forty feet in the
air. The American flag flew first, with
the State Of California flag flying below it.
The flags fluttered softly in the gentle breeze, as though they were
tired and getting ready to be put to bed for the night.
The
woman paused a moment. She looked
around, but didn't see anyone. She
spotted the sign above the door of one building that read Heavenly Helpings,
and the signs above the doors of twin cement block buildings that read,
Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness. Dixie
smiled at that. She assumed those
buildings housed bathrooms/locker rooms because one was also marked Boys, while
the other was marked Girls. Through a
grass-lined alley Dixie saw what she guessed was an office, and then several
hundred yards from it, a large metal structure that most likely housed equipment. On the woman's right was a long row of
quaint little wooden buildings Dixie took to be cabins. Flower boxes hung beneath each window, all
of the boxes blooming with vivid greens, blues, purples, reds, yellows, and
oranges. Marigolds, petunias,
geraniums, and impatients were just a few of the flowers Dixie was immediately
able to identify. She was impressed
with the cleanliness of the camp, and the way the grounds were meticulously
manicured. Someone, or several
someones, took pride in this place and all it stood for.
Dixie
heard shouts and shrieks that indicated children at play. She didn't see anyone on the baseball field
beyond the cabins, so started walking again.
She followed the sounds of the kids, turning left when she reached the
end of the courtyard.
A
sea of dark heads ran back and forth across an open field. Medium sized rusty-brown rubber balls flew
through the air. Dixie recognized the
game from her own childhood. Dodge
ball. A dozen older women sat in lawn
chairs with their backs to Dixie, chattering away while half watching the
action. Dixie surmised they might be camp volunteers who were finally getting
their first chance to sit down for the day.
She had a feeling this was a ritual they partook in each evening when the
dishes and laundry were done, and the children no longer needed their
nurturing.
Other
adults ran back and forth with the kids.
They'd scoop up wayward balls, only to throw them at a target while
dodging a ball coming their way. These
people were young and energetic. Few
of them appeared to be over thirty.
Must
be the counselors.
Dixie
was about to approach the older women to inquire as to where she might find
John Gage, when she noticed the distinct limp of one of the young men playing
with the kids.
That's
not a counselor, that's Johnny!
Dixie
paused. She watched as Johnny charged across the field to pick up a ball. A little boy hung onto the waistband of the
paramedic's jeans, giggling while mirroring each step the man took.
The
nurse had been far from certain as to what condition, mentally or physically,
she'd find Johnny in, but it sure wasn't anything close to this. He threw the ball with a sideways hook from
a half bent position. That awkward
stance, combined with his weak leg and the boy clinging to his waist, toppled
Johnny to the ground. The boy fell on
Johnny's chest. The paramedic laughed
while giving the child's ribs a thorough tickling. The boy squealed and squirmed until Johnny let him go with a
playful swat to his rear end. The
youngster jumped to his feet and immediately held out a hand as though he knew
Johnny needed assistance getting off the ground.
Johnny
grinned and gently clasped Shen Bo’s palm.
With the boy’s help the paramedic stood. It was when Johnny glanced straight ahead that he caught sight of
Dixie. His smile vanished and his eyes
narrowed as a heavy scowl settled over his face. He held Dixie’s gaze ten full seconds, then turned his back on her. The woman started toward him.
“Johnny.
. .”
Keeping
his back to Dixie, Johnny headed toward the thick woods that bordered the
field.
“Johnny!”
When
the paramedic picked up his pace, Dixie picked up hers. “Johnny! Johnny, wait!”
Shen
Bo watched with open curiosity.
“Johnny! Johnny, please wait!”
“Misser
Honey!” Shen Bo ran between the two adults until he reached Johnny’s side. “Misser Honey! Misser Honey, da’ lady want talk you.”
Johnny’s
jaw set hard with fury. “Well, you can
tell the lady I don’t wanna talk to her.”
Shen
Bo pivoted and raced to Dixie. “Misser
Honey no want talk you.”
“Mr.
Honey?”
The
boy pointed to Johnny’s rigid back. “He
Misser Honey. Misser Honey Shen Bo’s
friend.”
Dixie
stopped walking. She crouched down so
she was eye level with the small boned child.
“And you’re Shen Bo?”
“Yes. I Shen Bo.
I Misser Honey’s friend. He our
new man now.”
“New
man?”
“Take
care kids. Sleep in Shen Bo’s
cabin. Watch out for boys. Misser Honey drive truck real fast like
American Army Jeep. It leave road, go
whoosh!” Up shot Shen Bo’s arm again as he relayed this story for the second
time today, with just as much enthusiasm as he’d told it earlier to
Johnny. “Then truck go bounce, bounce,
bounce in field. Damn near give. .
.almost give Misser Tinkle heart ‘tack. Misser Tinkle scared. He fall to ground. He no want be boys’ man no more.
Now Misser Honey our man. Shen
Bo like Misser Honey. He save Shen Bo’s
life when Shen Bo naughty boy and ride grass machine. Misser Honey and Shen Bo best friends forever now.”
Dixie
had to listen closely in order to understand every word of broken English the
excited child chattered. She couldn’t
help but smile at him. His enthusiasm
was contagious. And with his petite
build, raven hair, deep brown eyes, bronze skin, endearing smile, and
Asian/American features, he was a beautiful little boy.
“It’s
nice to meet you, Shen Bo. I’m Dixie.”
“Dickie?”
“Dixie.”
“Dickie.”
“Dixie.”
“Dickie.”
Slowly,
the nurse pronounced her name again while emphasizing each syllable. “Dix-ie.”
Shen
Bo grinned. “Dick-ie.”
“No,
it’s--”
“You
know Misser Honey, Dickie?”
Like
Johnny had done that afternoon, Dixie gave up attempting to get Shen Bo to
correctly say her name. She supposed
there were worse things than Dickie one could be called, and provided this
didn’t get around the halls of Rampart she could live with it.
“Yes,
I know Johnny. I’m a friend of his.”
“I
tell him.”
Before
Dixie could stop him, Shen Bo raced for Johnny who was still walking away from
the nurse.
“Misser
Honey! Misser Honey! Dickie you friend, too, just like Shen Bo!”
At
any other time Johnny would have laughed at the way Shen Bo mangled Dixie’s
name, but right now he was too pissed off at her to find humor in the
situation.
“No,
she’s not.”
“She
say she is.”
“Well,
like a lot of things Dixie says, she’s lying.”
Shen
Bo’s brows furrowed. He studied Johnny
a moment, then ran back to Dixie.
“Misser
Honey say you lie ‘bout being friend.
Why you lie Shen Bo?”
“I
didn’t lie to you, Shen Bo. Right now
Mr. Honey is angry with me. If he’d
calm down and let me talk to him, maybe we could get some things resolved.”
“
’Solved mean Misser Honey no be mad at you no more?”
“Yes. That’s what it means.”
By
now Johnny had stopped walking. He
turned to glare at Dixie, daring her to come any closer. She remained where she was as the dodge ball
game went on behind her, the players evidently unaware of what was transpiring
between one of their counselors and this stranger to Heaven. The ever faithful messenger that he was,
Shen Bo ran to Johnny once again. This
time he was panting for breath when he arrived at the paramedic’s side.
“Dickie
say she no lie. She say you angry. You need calm down and talk her.”
“I
don’t wanna calm down and talk to her.”
“You
want Shen Bo tell her that?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.
But Shen Bo’s legs tired. Shen Bo hope
you no stay mad at Dickie very long.”
With
that the boy turned for Dixie. This time his run slowed to a labored jog.
“Misser
Honey no want calm down and talk you.”
“Tell
Mr. Honey he’s being pig headed and stubborn.”
Shen
Bo sighed. He took a deep breath in
order to fill his aching lungs with air, then trotted to Johnny on heavy
limbs.
“Misser
Honey, Dickie say you pig.”
“Well,
you can tell Dixie that I said--”
“What
in the world are you two doing?”
Dixie
and Johnny swiveled at the voice. With
a clipboard in hand, Tess marched across the field. When she reached the pair she bridged the space between
them.
“You
should be ashamed of yourselves, arguing like this in front of the
children. Not to mention using little
Shen Bo as your messenger. If you two
have a problem with one another then sit down and work it out like adults.”
Johnny’s
eyes dropped to the ground. “We don’t
have a problem with one another.”
“Oh
really?” Tess cocked a disbelieving
eyebrow. “It sure sounds to me like you
have a problem with one another. As a
matter of fact, I could hear your problem all the way in the office.”
Dixie
spoke in defense of herself. “I didn’t
come here to fight with Johnny. I only
came to--”
“I
know why you came, Mizz McCall.”
“You
do?”
“Yes. You’re on my list. As a matter of fact, we’ve been wondering where you were.”
“Pardon?”
Despite
his anger, Johnny choked back a laugh.
Dixie shot him a questioning look he refused to acknowledge.
“My
list.” Tess held up her clipboard. “You’re on my list of volunteers.”
“Volunteers?”
“Yes-siree-bob. And you arrived just in the nick of time.”
“I
did?”
“You
surely did. Cindy. . .one of our
counselors, was called home today for a family emergency.”
“I’m
sorry to hear that, but--”
“We
were sorry to hear it, too. Wonderful young lady, and the children adore
her. Her daddy’s heart ain’t what it
used to be, but praise God, he’ll have a few more years left on this
earth. More than anything he wants to
see Cindy graduate from college. He’s
gonna be able to do that, and then some.”
Dixie
didn’t bother to ask Tess how she came by her knowledge. While working with the woman at Rampart she
had learned Tess was prone to claiming she had information there was no way she
could be privy to.
“That’s
nice, but--”
“We’ve
been waiting for you to arrive, Mizz McCall, so we could put you in charge of
Cindy’s girls.”
“Cindy’s
girls?”
“Just
like Mr. Gage has twelve boys in his cabin, you’ll have twelve girls in yours.”
“Look,
I don’t know about Johnny, but I’m not staying. I just stopped by because the man at the garage--”
“Gil?”
“Yes,
that’s him. Gil told me I’d find Johnny
here.”
“And
so you did. You’re on my list of
volunteers, same as Mr. Gage was so--”
“I
didn’t sign up to be a volunteer.”
“You
didn’t?”
“No.”
“Well,
you must have ‘cause your name’s right here.”
“Where?”
Tess
held up her clipboard and pointed a finger.
“Here. You are Dixie Lee McCall,
aren’t you?”
“Yes,
but I never signed up--”
“Oh, diddly squat to that. You and Mr. Gage must have short memories
‘cause he tried to use the same argument on me. But, just like I have his name on my list of male volunteers, I
have your name on my list of female volunteers.” Tess reached out a hand and clutched Dixie’s arm. “Now come on. I bet you haven’t had supper, have you?”
“No,
but--”
“Then
I’ll take you to Heavenly Helpings and dish you up a plate of leftovers. Did you bring a suitcase?”
“Yes,
but only because I planned on spending the night in a motel and--”
“No
need for no motel, Mizz McCall. Our
camp counselors stay right here with the children.”
“But
I’m not--”
“The
children will be gathering around the bonfire soon. After they’re done eatin’ them sticky S’mores they like so much
and singin’ a few songs they’ll be gettin’ ready for bed. I’ll introduce you to your girls then, and
have one of the older boys go down to your car and get your suitcase for you.”
Dixie
looked over her shoulder at Johnny as she was led away from him and Shen
Bo. By the twinkle in his eyes he was
trying to hide, the nurse could tell Johnny didn’t plan on being of assistance
to her cause. She turned her attention
back to Tess.
“I
at least need to use a phone.”
“A
phone?”
“Yes.”
Tess
sighed. “What is it with you and Mr.
Gage wantin’ to use the phone all the time? It’s an unhealthy
addiction if you ask me. I told Alexander those jingle jangle instruments would
keep people too occupied yackin’ rather than doin.’ ”
“Alexander?”
“Bell. Alexander Graham
Bell. What Alexander did you think I
was talking about?”
“I was hoping any Alexander but him.”
“And why would that be?”
“Because he’s been dead about fifty years.”
“Fifty three to be exact.
But never you mind that. He had
a long productive life, and if I know Alexander, he’s installed those jingle
jangle things in Heaven by now.”
Dixie wasn’t sure if Tess meant Heaven the town, or Heaven the
place the Bible spoke of. As she was
led through the door of the mess hall Dixie decided she’d rather not know.
This woman’s half nuts.
While Tess might very well have been half nuts, Dixie soon decided
the woman could cook. She was given a
tray that contained a roast beef sandwich, a cold chicken breast, slices of
watermelon and cantaloupe, two chocolate chip cookies, and then handed a glass
of lemonade. Tess hummed When The Roll Is Called Up Yonder while she
cleaned up the kitchen. Dixie had to
admit she was hungry. The last time
she’d eaten was noon, and now it was going on eight o’clock. Twice the nurse glanced at the door to see
Shen Bo looking in through the screen.
Both times he waved at her, then disappeared. Whether he was checking on her whereabouts for Johnny, or whether
he was simply satisfying his own curiosity as to if she was going to be around
for a while, Dixie didn’t know.
If Johnny cared to know what Dixie’s decision was regarding
staying at A Little Bit Of Heaven, or leaving the camp for the comfort of a
motel room, he did a good job of hiding that.
When Tess finally led Dixie out of the mess hall the paramedic was
nowhere to be seen. The bonfire was
still burning south of the baseball diamond, and a dozen of the older children
were still milling about along with a few adults, but the younger children and
their counselors appeared to be in their cabins for the night.
Dixie was surprised to
discover she had no protests left in her as Tess showed the nurse to the cabin
she’d be staying in. It was identical to the one Johnny was residing in with
the exception of the bedspreads. Rather
than being caution sign yellow, these were neon green.
The women had just stepped into the cabin when a thirteen year
old boy arrived with Dixie’s suitcase, and the car keys she’d given him so he
could gain entrance to her trunk. Dixie thanked the boy while Tess indicated
for him to place the suitcase next to the only bed in the room that wasn’t part
of a bunk combination.
After the teenager left Tess introduced Dixie to the twelve
girls who were already in their pajamas and sitting on their bunks. Dixie guessed the youngest girl in her group
to be six or seven years of age, while the oldest was no more than eleven. Each one of them was beautiful in their own
way, though half were maimed by war in some fashion, be it a lost arm, leg, or
eye. The girls were shy and did nothing
more than give Dixie timid nods or reserved waves. The nurse knew this would change as they began to feel more
comfortable with her. Not that she
planned to stick around long enough for that to happen, but if nothing else
Dixie supposed she could spend the night.
She was tired, and didn’t relish the thought of driving another ten or
twenty miles in order to reach a motel.
“You relax now and get to know the girls,” Tess urged as she
headed for the door. “They can tell you
where everything is and fill you in on the routine around here. I’d advise you not to stay up gabbin’ too
late though. Tomorrow’s the Lord’s day,
which means we hold a church service right after breakfast. Andrew will raise the flags at sunrise, then
ring the bell for breakfast at six.
Everyone’s expected to be in Heavenly Helpings at seven. At eight we’ll hold our service there.”
“That’s fine, but I don’t attend church.”
Tess gave Dixie a pointed look.
“I realize that, and just possibly, given your current unrest with God,
you should be rethinking that position.
But regardless, here at A Little Bit Of Heaven everyone attends
church on Sunday. It’s an all
denominational service if that’s what you’re worried about. Don’t matter if you’re Catholic, or Baptist,
or Jewish, or Muslim, or Lutheran, or Buddhist, or if you fancy worshipping
trees.”
“I’m not worried about that.”
“Well, good. Glad to
hear it. So I’ll see you at breakfast.”
“Is uh. . .is Johnny going to be there?”
“I reckon so. Doc
Ferguson says John needs to eat, and John knows I expect to see him do just
that.”
“Good, but that’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean, Mizz McCall?”
“Is Johnny going to be at the church service?”
“I just done told you everyone in this camp attends
church on Sunday.”
“Does Johnny know that?”
“I’m not rightly sure. I
guess I never mentioned it to him, but he’ll find out come tomorrow morning.”
Dixie gave a nod while stifling her smile. It would be worth it to stick around just to
see Johnny’s reaction to Tess making him attend church.
Once again Tess seemed able to read Dixie’s mind.
“Now don’t you worry none.
John ain’t gonna give ole’ Tess no hassles she can’t take care of.”
“That’s nice to hear, because Johnny excels at that lately.”
“What?”
“Giving people hassles.”
“Maybe if people would keep their promises to him, Mizz
McCall, he wouldn’t be inclined to lose his temper, thereby saying and doing
things he regrets.”
“What things?”
Tess shrugged. “I’m sure
John will tell you if and when he wants to.
I can’t give back to him, or to you, that special friendship the two of
you once shared. You’ll have to work
together in order to find it again.”
Tess didn’t say anymore.
She opened the screen door and walked out into the darkness. Dixie watched Tess’s retreating back a few
seconds, then finally closed the door so bugs wouldn’t fly in. The nurse gave only half her attention to
the girls she was now introducing herself to.
The remainder of Dixie’s thoughts were focused on Johnny, and just
whether or not she would indeed, be able to gain back all she’d lost when he
stormed out of her home on Thursday because she’d betrayed his trust.
The
dream was so vivid Johnny knew he was living the train wreck all over
again. The conversation replayed in his
mind as though it was occurring right this second.
“Don’t
worry about it, Shannon. If anyone
heard me and Chet around the supper table at the station they’d ask what kinda
goofs were protecting their city from fires.”
“Who’s
Chet?”
“I’d
say a buddy of mine, but at any given moment that can change depending on what
he’s done to me.”
“What
he’s done to you?”
“He’s
a bit of a practical joker.”
“Oh,
a wise ass, huh?”
“You
might say that.”
“Well,
Johnny my man, if you be wantin’ my advice,”
James stopped in mid-sentence.
“What the hell. . .” He looked
at the crumpled bus floor. It was
vibrating beneath his feet. “What the
hell is going on?”
“It’s
a train!” Rich screamed, his eyes wide as he stared out the shattered
windows. “A train is coming!”
“Run! Run! Run,
dammit! Run!”
Johnny’s
upper body catapulted from the mattress.
“Run! Run!” The paramedic shouted one more terror-filled
and prolonged “Ruuuuun!” before screaming himself awake.
Johnny
swallowed hard as he stared into the darkness.
His right hand shook as he raised it to wipe sweat from his brow. His breath came in fast, shallow pants. Everything was night-time quiet until it
sounded again. A train whistle. It wailed three more times, then Johnny
could hear the faint clatter of wheels against track.
John
startled when he felt someone sit beside him.
“You
okay, Misser Honey?”
It
took Johnny a moment to find his voice.
Like Shen Bo, he spoke just above a whisper so as not to wake the other
boys who had miraculously slept through the screaming. But then perhaps, given their circumstances,
they were used to bunkmates having bad dreams.
“Yeah,
I’m fine.”
“You
shake.”
“I’ll
be okay in a minute. You go back to bed
now.”
Shen
Bo ignored Johnny’s directive, to instead lie down on the bed and rest his head
on Johnny’s pillow.
“Why
you have bad dream? You see war?”
“No,
I wasn’t in the war.”
“Shen
Bo have bad dreams some time. See
soldiers come again. Kill mother. Kill grandmother. Kill grandfather.”
Johnny
twisted his upper body so he could look down at the child. Like the other boys in the cabin, Shen Bo
wore lightweight blue pajama shorts with a matching shortsleeved pajama shirt. When it was bedtime the boy had found a pair
of blue pajama pants for Johnny in the same dresser drawer where he’d located
the socks and boxer shorts for the man.
He hadn’t been able to find a pajama top, which was fine with Johnny
since he rarely wore one at home anyway.
“I’m
sorry, Bo. I wish that hadn’t happened
to you.”
“I
miss mother, Misser Honey. And
grandfather and grandmother. For long
time Shen Bo think he have no one, but then Pastor Don say Shen Bo have father
in America. Shen Bo come here to live
with father. When Shen Bo go to father’s house, Misser Honey?”
Johnny
was too tired to have this conversation sitting up, and it was evident that his
body language wasn’t giving Shen Bo the hint that the boy should return to his
own bed. Therefore, John settled back to a reclining position, spread the
rumpled sheet and light blanket over himself and Shen Bo, then rested his head
on the portion of the pillow the child wasn’t using.
“Misser
Honey? When? When Shen Bo go to father’s house?”
“I
don’t know. You’ll have to ask Tess
that question.”
“Soon. Shen Bo go soon,” the boy said with a firm
confidence that told Johnny he had his heart set on living with his
father. “You think Shen Bo go soon?”
“I
can’t answer that, Bo. Like I said,
you’ll have to ask Tess.”
“You
think father like Shen Bo?”
“I’m
sure he will.”
“And
Shen Bo be happy with father?”
Johnny
hated to make the child false promises, but at the same time didn’t want to
dash his hopes. “I. . .I think so.”
“Shen
Bo happy with you, Misser Honey. Maybe
Shen Bo live with you?”
“No,
Bo, you don’t wanna live with me.”
“Why
not?”
“For
one thing, I’m a bachelor.”
“What
that mean? Backer?”
“Bachelor. It means I don’t have a wife.”
“That
okay. Shen Bo no have wife either.”
Johnny
chuckled. “I should hope not considering you’re what? All of six years old?”
“I
be seven now.”
“Well,
seven’s not old enough for a wife, either.
But regardless, a boy needs a home with both a father and a mother. In my house there isn’t a woman to be a
mother to you. Besides, my job keeps me
away from home a lot, and that wouldn’t be fair to you. A boy needs a father who can spend time with
him.”
“What
you do?”
“I’m
a firefighter and a paramedic.”
“Fireman? Wow!
You put out fires, Misser Honey?”
“Sometimes.”
“And
ride on big fire truck bigger than American Army Jeep?”
“Yes,
I’ve ridden on a fire truck more than a few times in my career.”
“What
para. . .para. . .para. . .”
“Paramedic?”
“Yes. What mean?”
“It
means I help people when they’re sick or injured.”
“That
good. That mean you good man, Misser
Honey. Helping people is good thing
do. Mother say so to Shen Bo.”
“Your
mother sounds like she was a very special lady.”
“She
special. Shen Bo love her lots.”
“I’m
sure you did, son.”
Silence
enveloped the pair then. The only sound
invading their cabin was the chirp of crickets and the faint croaking of
bullfrogs coming from the lake. Thank
God the train had passed. Johnny hoped
another one wasn’t due to come through for the remainder of the night.
Just
when John thought Shen Bo had dropped off to sleep, the boy spoke again.
“Is
Dickie you friend?”
Johnny
sighed. When he finally answered the
seven year old he admitted, “Yes. Dixie
is my friend.”
“Then
why you be mad at her?”
“It’s.
. .it’s a long story, Shen Bo.”
“Shen
Bo like stories.”
“Well,
you’re not going to hear this one. It’s
between me and Dixie.”
“Okay. But you not be mad at Dickie forever,
right?”
“I
don’t know. Why?”
“You
no stay mad at Shen Bo when I ride grass machine. You mad at first. You
even say you may swat Shen Bo’s rear end.
But then you forgive and we friends again. You say we always be friends.
Why you not forgive Dickie?”
“Maybe.
. .maybe because I’m not ready to.”
The
boy hitched himself up on his left elbow and looked directly into Johnny’s
eyes.
“Misser
Honey, forgive Dickie. One time Shen Bo
get mad at mother. Next day mother
dead. It hurt Shen Bo’s heart because Shen
Bo never tell mother he sorry for bad things he say when he so angry at
mother. Say you sorry to Dickie, Misser
Honey, then be her friend again. It
very easy, and it better than wishing you can say sorry after she dead.”
With
that Shen Bo dropped to his side, snuggled into Johnny’s chest, and fell
asleep. The paramedic laid awake
another hour, staring at the ceiling while contemplating the enormous wisdom of
a seven year old boy.
Johnny
was awake before Andrew rang the bell that morning. As his cabin slowly came to life he supervised the boys getting
dressed and making their beds. The
paramedic was surprised to find several sets of clothes in the closet that
were, once again, exactly his size. He
grabbed another pair of blue jeans off a hanger and this time reached for a tan
oxford shirt. He put on clean socks and
boxer shorts, then bundled up his dirty clothes. He instructed the boys to gather their dirty things, then herded
them toward the locker room where he supervised them brushing their teeth,
combing their hair, washing their faces, and depositing all the dirty laundry
in one of the large hampers.
None
of Johnny’s boys were older than eleven.
His youngest was Shen Bo. As
Johnny watched children come out of cabins with their counselors he realized
the kids had been separated by age when it came to their sleeping
arrangements. The youngest; the four,
five, and six year olds, were together.
Then the next groups, children from seven to eleven, were together. And finally, the remainder of the kids who
ranged in age from twelve to fourteen.
Johnny briefly wondered why he didn’t see older teenagers, but then
assumed most of them had gotten lost in the shuffle in Vietnam. More than likely they weren’t considered prime
candidates for adoption because of their age, or even worse, were considered
old enough to fend for themselves.
By
the time Johnny got his boys to Heavenly Helpings a good deal of the camp had
already been through the breakfast line.
He caught a glimpse of Dixie sitting with some young girls at the back
of the room, but he refused to make eye contact with her. Until now, Johnny hadn’t even been certain
she’d stuck around. He figured it was a
fifty-fifty shot that she’d gotten in her car and headed back to L.A. Not that he would have blamed Dix had she
done so. After all, he hadn’t exactly
welcomed her with open arms, and then Tess had immediately drafted her into service. Both those things would have been enough to
send Johnny packing. As a matter of
fact, he’d still like to head out of Heaven if only a means of escape came his
way.
Breakfast
was as tasty and bountiful as supper had been.
Johnny’s tray was piled high with scrambled eggs, pancakes, bacon,
toast, and fresh strawberries. While
most of his boys chose orange juice to accompany their meal, Johnny chose two
cartons of white milk. Shen Bo watched
the paramedic, then put the juice back he’d selected and exchanged it for milk.
Johnny
led his boys to a table at the front of the building. There was plenty of room at Dixie’s table for John and his troop,
but he deliberately avoided heading in that direction. Like the evening before, Shen Bo sat at Johnny’s
right elbow.
The laughter and chatter of children filled
the dining hall as the meal proceeded in leisurely fashion. That is until the hands on the big clock
hanging on the west wall indicated it was seven forty-five. Without being given directions by any
adults, the kids suddenly stood and began gathering trays. They disposed of garbage, set the trays on
the cart, then came from the kitchen with damp cloths and wiped the tables
down. Johnny had no idea what was about
to happen, but by the children’s sudden burst of energy he assumed the arrival
of eight a.m. must bring a trip to the lake or the start of a baseball
game. He was surprised; therefore, when
the kids hurried back to their seats and sat up straight with their hands
neatly folded on the tabletops. As the
volume of noise in the room dropped to an almost funeral-like hush, Johnny
leaned over and whispered in Shen Bo’s ear.
“What’s
going on?”
“Church.”
“Church?”
“Tess
- she sing fun songs. We sing with
her. Then Monica talk. She tell good stories.”
“Okay. Well, see you later.”
“Where
you go?”
“I’ll
be around.”
Actually,
Johnny was thinking this would be a good time to call Chet. If he had the A-shift schedule straight in
his head the guys would be off today.
At eight o’clock on a Sunday morning Chet would be no other place but home
in bed.
Johnny had no qualms about waking him
and asking for a ride back to L.A. He
knew Chet would give him a big hassle, but in the end the Irishman would show
up. Of that last fact, Johnny had no
doubt.
“You
no leave, Misser Honey. It church.”
Johnny
stood. “Not everyone goes to church,
Shen Bo. It’s a choice each person has
the right to make, not something anyone can order a guy to do.”
“Well,
Mr. Gage, around here church attendance is not a choice.”
The
paramedic turned to face Tess. He’d
just about had his gut full of this bossy woman.
“Look--”
“No,
you look. We talked yesterday about
your role as a shepherd to these little lambs.
Well, you’re not bein’ much of a shepherd to them at the moment. You go back there and take that empty seat
next to Mizz McCall.”
Tess
shifted her attention to another man Johnny hadn’t seen before who, had also
stood to leave the building.
“And
you, Mr. Hastings, come have a seat here next to Shen Bo. You aren’t leaving anymore than Mr. Gage
is.”
“But--”
“Sit,
Mr. Hastings. Now.” Tess pointed to the back of the room. “And you, Mr. Gage, get your skinny behind
in gear and do like I told you. We
start praisin’ the Lord ‘round here promptly at eight each Sunday morning. Ain’t no men making the wrong choices
for themselves gonna delay that.”
Johnny
was angry, but even more so, he was embarrassed at having been singled out by
the woman. He hadn’t felt this
humiliated since he was fifteen and got caught passing a note to Kim in
geometry class. He could tell the guy
Tess called Hastings felt the same way.
His cheeks were twinged red and his hands balled into fists as he
stomped to the seat Johnny had just vacated.
Why Tess wanted Johnny seated next to Dixie the paramedic didn’t
know. Maybe she thought Hastings
wouldn’t be comfortable sitting next to someone he hadn’t met. Or maybe she was on a power trip and
assigning seats at will.
All
eyes were now on the paramedic as the congregation waited for Johnny to sit
down.
“Go,
Misser Honey. You sit by Dickie. Shen Bo see you after service.”
If
it hadn’t been for Shen Bo’s urging Johnny would have stormed out of the mess
hall. But, though he’d known the boy
less than twenty-four hours, he could hardly refuse any request the earnest
child made of him.
The
paramedic kept his eyes on the floor as he limped to where Dixie was
sitting. He yanked out the empty metal
chair and sat down. He kept his back
ramrod straight and half turned to the nurse.
His body language alone broadcast how much he didn’t want to be in this
room, nor seated next to the companion on his left.
Tess
bestowed a loving smile on Johnny.
“There. That’s better. It won’t be so bad, John. You’ll see.
You might even enjoy yourself.”
Don’t
bet on it.
“Don’t worry. I won’t. Bet on it that
is. After all, Jesus threw the gamblers
out of the temple. Wouldn’t be fitting for me to consider wagering on anything
when I’m in the house of the Lord.”
Johnny
hid his astonishment at the way the woman apparently read his mind once
again. Tess’s smile rested upon him a
moment longer, then she took in the rest of the congregation.
“Now,
are we ready to sing?”
The
children yelled, “Yes!” in large voice.
Tess took a mouth organ out of the pocket of her dress, played a note,
then started singing Jesus Loves Me in a booming voice.
The
songs that followed were the ones most Protestant church-going children learned
before the age of five. Fifteen minutes
later Tess turned the floor over to Monica.
Johnny watched as the woman stood from a front table where she’d been
sitting next to Andrew. Today she wore
a flowing white skirt and baby blue silk blouse. The blouse was open at the throat to reveal her clerical
collar. In that sweet Irish brogue that
would have had Johnny asking the woman for a date had she not been a chaplain,
Monica requested, “Let’s all bow our heads for a word of prayer.”
Everyone
did as Monica requested with the exception of Clay Hastings. Even Johnny dropped his eyes to the
table.
Shen
Bo leaned into the man sitting beside him.
“We pray now, Misser Hassings.
You bow head.”
“Shut
up,” Clay hissed.
“But--”
The
man’s voice grew louder. “Shut up, you
stupid little bas--”
Johnny
flew to his feet. “Hey, knock it
off! Don’t you call him that!”
Tess
stood from where she’d taken Monica’s vacated chair. “John, sit down.”
The woman’s eyes traveled from Johnny to Clay. “And you, Mr. Hastings,
do as John advises. Don’t you even think
of calling any of these children names.
Now keep your lip buttoned while we have a word of prayer.”
Clay
pounded his fists against his thighs but remained seated. He wasn’t going to allow that pushy black
broad to humiliate him further. Why he
didn’t just get up and leave he had no idea, other than to say it would only
draw more unwanted and unwelcome attention his way.
Monica
started the prayer as though no interruption had occurred. She bowed her head and clasped her hands in
front of her.
“Dear
Lord, we thank Thee for the bountiful gifts You have given us in the form of
these beautiful children, this camp, and the many volunteers who keep it
running. Allow hearts to be open today
to the message I will preach in Your name.
Amen.”
Heads
lifted as Monica looked out over her congregation. She waited a moment, quietly cleared her throat, then began.
“Sometimes
the most difficult thing we are asked to do in this life is to forgive. Forgive the teenager who disappoints us by
cheating on an exam. Forgive the
neighbor who makes us angry by playing loud music late at night. Forgive the spouse who asks us to leave our
home for reasons we don’t always understand.
Forgive the friend who betrays our trust, despite that friend’s good
intentions.”
Johnny
could feel Dixie’s eyes on him, but he refused to look anywhere but at the
tabletop. The tension in the room broke
to some degree when Shen Bo swiveled in his seat and pointed at the paramedic.
“Misser
Honey forgive Shen Bo when he get on grass machine.”
Monica
smiled. “That’s right, Shen Bo, Johnny
forgave you when you got on that lawnmower even though you’d been told several
times by Andrew to stay away from it.
And how did it make you feel when Johnny forgave you?”
Shen
Bo returned his attention to Monica like the studious pupil he was.
“Shen
Bo feel good. Shen Bo happy inside
‘cause Misser Honey forgive him and still be Shen Bo’s friend.”
“So
Johnny’s forgiveness made you happy?”
“Very
happy.”
“I
can see that by the big smile on your face.
I take it you think the ability to forgive is a good quality for a
person to have?”
“Yes. Forgive is good. If you no forgive now, you may lose chance. Sometimes. . .sometimes bad things happen
and then no be able to say ‘I sorry.’ ”
“You’re
right, Shen Bo. Sometimes bad things
happen to those we love, and if we’ve waited too long to say, ‘I forgive you,’
or ‘I’m sorry,’ we might never get the opportunity.” Monica’s eyes took in the entire room. “If you have someone you need to forgive, or need to apologize
to, make that act your first priority of the day. After all, a little boy just reminded us that sometimes bad
things happen before we’re able to reconcile with a loved one or a friend. And, if you give it further thought, you’ll
likely come to the conclusion that what you’re upset about is hardly worth
losing that special person over.”
Monica
paused a moment to allow her message to sink in, then smiled.
“Now,
shall we bow our heads and have a final word of prayer?”
The
last ‘amen’ was barely uttered before Johnny shot out one door and Clay
Hastings out another. Tess watched both
men leave. She had no idea where they
were going, but she prayed they took the time to contemplate Monica’s message
and allow it to lead them in the right direction.
Monica’s
sermon did nothing but lead Clay to his pickup truck. He revved the engine and peeled out of the parking lot. There was a guy six miles up the road who
kept Clay supplied in drugs. Despite
his desire to get back to Minnesota to see his children, Hastings was spending
most of his weekly paycheck on drugs and alcohol.
Johnny,
on the other hand, mulled over Monica’s words as he took a walk around the
lake. His boys had caught up with him
and were now skipping stones across the crystal clear water as they hiked with
their counselor. Johnny glanced over
his shoulder when his twelve boys were suddenly joined by twelve girls. He saw Dixie hiking toward him. This time rather than walk away from the
nurse, or turn his back on her, Johnny stopped. He waited until she’d reached his side, then resumed his slow
trek along the lake shore. Dixie walked
with the paramedic. When five minutes
of silence had passed between them she took the risk of starting a conversation.
“Beautiful
place, isn’t it?”
“Uh.
. .yeah. It’s nice.”
The
nurse sneaked a glance at the face she could only see in profile.
“How’s
your head?”
“What?”
“Your
head. I see you’ve got a bandage there
above your left eyebrow.”
“Oh.
That.
It’s okay.”
“No
headache?”
“Not
anymore.”
“Blurry
vision?”
“No.”
“Dizziness?”
“No.”
“Nausea?”
“Dix,
I’m fine. They had a doctor look at
me.”
“I
know, but I just want to make sure you’re all right.”
“I’m
okay. I’ll probably be able to take
this bandage off by tomorrow.”
“Well,
let me at least take a look before you do.”
“I
think I’m capable of determining when. . .”
Johnny bit back his terse words.
He didn’t want to fight to with Dixie.
“Yeah, sure. You can take a
look.”
Dixie
watched the children play a few hundred yards ahead of them at the water’s
edge. She marveled at how willing the
older children were to take responsibility for a younger child in order to keep
him or her from wading out too far.
“These
kids are pretty special.”
“Yeah,
they are.”
“Listen,
Johnny, I’m sorry about what happened on Thursday morning. I was wrong to have called--”
Johnny
held up his right hand. “No, Dix,
don’t. Don’t apologize. I. . .it’s me who should be apologizing to
you.”
“For
what?”
The
paramedic stopped walking. He turned to
face the woman.
“For
what? Dixie, I shoved you. I. . .I’ve never shoved a woman before. I’ve never done anything like that. . .gotten rough with a
woman. Honest I haven’t.”
“I
know. You don’t have to apologize.”
“But
I do.” Johnny glanced at the cloudless
sky while raking a hand through his hair.
“I. . .there’s a lot of things I’m not certain about, the least of which
is whether I can ever go back to being a paramedic again, but--”
“Johnny,
you can’t let that lawsuit do this to you.”
“It’s
not just the lawsuit, Dix. It’s. .
.it’s everything. The boys on that bus.
The second train. I. . .if only I’d
gotten them off ten minutes sooner.
Hell, even five minutes sooner would have been enough. Two minutes would have done it. That’s all I needed. Two minutes. Just two lousy minutes and they would have been far enough away
from the bus for the second collision not to matter.”
“I
understand how you must feel, and I wish I had an answer for you as to why that
second collision happened, but--”
“I
wish you had an answer for me, too, Dix.”
Dixie was sure she saw unshed tears swimming in the man’s eyes when he
finished with a choked, “I wish to God someone had an answer for me. Those boys. . .they survived Vietnam only to
be killed on the bus ride home. It
just. . .it makes no sense to me, Dix.
It just. . .it makes no sense.”
“It
doesn’t make sense to any of us, sweetheart, and I doubt it ever will. But you can’t punish yourself, physically or
emotionally, for something that isn’t your fault.”
A
tiny smile touched Johnny’s lips at the term of endearment Dixie used. It wasn’t said in a romantic way, but more
the way a mother would say it to her son.
Or, maybe in the way a big sister would say it to a much younger
brother.
“I.
. .I guess I know that. . .that I can’t go on punishing myself, but I’m just
not sure how to stop.”
Thinking
of her own bout with depression made Dixie say, “I realize that. At times we all punish ourselves for things
beyond our control. For feelings we
don’t. . .we don’t even fully understand the root of. Maybe we can just. . .well, just take a few days to hang around
here, enjoy the outdoors, be what these kids need us to be, and then see where
that leads us.”
“You’re
actually thinking of staying here?”
Dixie
looked at the children, then the background of water, trees, and
mountains. “I am. I’ve got five weeks of vacation coming to me
and no place to go. Might as well stay
here for at least some of it. After
all, the room is free, the food is wonderful, and the atmosphere isn’t so bad.”
“Guess
not. Except for that bossy Tess. She gets on my nerves.”
Dixie
laughed. “I think you do a pretty good
job of getting on her nerves, too.”
“I
suppose.” Johnny sobered as he looked
into the nurse’s eyes. “Dix, I’m sorry
about the other day. I really am. I know you were just trying to help. I. . .I shouldn’t have gotten so ticked
because you called Roy and Doc Brackett.
Maybe I would have done the same thing if I was in your place. I really don’t know, and I guess it doesn’t
matter anyway. I shouldn’t have shoved
you and I. . .I. . . .I’d never hurt you, Dixie. You know that, don’t you?
If I hurt you. . .in any way, I’d never be able to forgive myself.”
Dixie
studied the young man a long moment.
“Johnny, you remember today’s sermon on forgiveness?”
“It’s
kinda hard to forget.”
“Good. Then let me say one last thing about what
happened in my house on Thursday morning.”
“What?”
“I’ll
forgive you, if you’ll forgive yourself.”
“I
didn’t hurt you?”
“No.”
“You’re
sure?”
“I’ve
got a little bruise on my shoulder from stumbling into the wall, but otherwise,
no, Johnny, you didn’t hurt me. I’ve
been hurt a lot worse tripping over my own feet on the tennis court, or taking
a fall from my bike. So, like I said,
I’ll forgive you, if you’ll extend yourself that same courtesy.”
Johnny
saw the sincerity on Dixie’s face that forced him to do as she requested.
“I.
. .okay.” The paramedic gave a slow nod
of his head. “I guess. . .okay. If that’s what you want.”
“That’s
what I want.”
“All
right.” Johnny held out an open arm the
woman stepped into. He pulled her to
his side and gave her a gentle squeeze.
“Thanks, Dix. You. . .you’ve
been a good friend for a lotta years now.
A very good friend.”
Dixie
smiled while briefly allowing her head to rest against Johnny’s shoulder. She’d known him since he was a rescue man
with Station 8. That was seven years
ago now, and he’d been just twenty-one the first time she’d met him. He’d matured a lot since then, and gone on
to become one of the best paramedics Kelly Brackett ever trained. She was so proud of him. The last thing she wanted to see him do was
leave the program. For now; however,
she decided that was a subject best steered clear of. To a large degree what career John Gage pursued two or three
months from now was a choice only he could make. There was little Dixie could say that would influence him one way
or another. Maybe this place - A Little
Bit Of Heaven, would help him find the answers he was so desperately seeking,
while at the same time helping to heal the pain caused him by the deaths of ten
Marines. Dixie wasn’t sure how all that
would come about, but if nothing else A Little Bit Of Heaven wasn’t a bad place
for a couple of city dwellers to vacation, and maybe it would bring her
a sense of healing, too. If nothing else
it beat sitting home alone and crying.
The
woman stepped from Johnny’s embrace.
“Do you mind keeping an eye on my girls for a few minutes?”
“Guess
not. Why?”
“I
need to make a phone call.”
“A
phone call?”
“Yes. There’s a phone in the office, isn’t there?”
“Yeah,
but I’m warning you, Tess is kinda psycho where the phone is concerned.”
“So
I noticed. But I don’t think she’ll
mind it too much if I make this call.”
“Why?”
“Because
I’m not making a call to get either of us out of Heaven, but rather making a
call to let someone know we’ll be staying here for a while.”
“Oh. Well, yeah, I suppose Tess would be cool
with that. Who ya’ calling?”
“Roy.”
When
the paramedic didn’t respond Dixie questioned, “Johnny?”
“I.
. .yeah, sure. Go ahead and call Roy.”
“He’s
very concerned about you.”
“I
know.”
“I
promised him I’d call as soon as I found you. He knows I left home yesterday
morning. By now he’s probably frantic
wondering where we both are.”
“Yeah,
I imagine so. Roy’s a worry wart.”
“Only
because he cares, Johnny.”
“I
realize that.”
“So,
do you have a message for me to give him?”
“No.
. .yes. Tell him. . .well, just tell
him I said hi and that. . .that I’m sorry about Thursday. Runnin’ out on him and all.”
“I’ll
tell him. I’m also going to ask Roy to
pick up my mail every couple days.
Would you like me to see if he’ll do the same for you?”
“Yeah. Please.”
Dixie
nodded her acknowledgement of the paramedic’s request, then begin the trek to
the camp’s office. She’d walked thirty
feet when Johnny hailed her.
“Hey,
Dix?”
The
woman turned around. “Yes?”
“How
did you find me anyway?”
“The
map.”
“Map? What map?”
“The
map you left in my guest room.”
“Huh?”
“The
one that you’d marked Heaven on with gold pen.”
Before
Johnny could tell Dixie he hadn’t left a map in her guest room, let alone one
marked with a town he’d never heard of until he’d sped through it on Thursday
afternoon, Shen Bo was tugging on his belt.
“Misser
Honey, Misser Honey! Come play with
kids!”
“I’ll
be right there, Bo.”
By
the time Johnny looked up again Dixie was too far away to communicate
with. He’d have to remember to tell
that he hadn’t left a map behind in her house.
Who did leave it there, Johnny had no idea. But it certainly wasn’t him.
By
the end of his first week at A Little Bit Of Heaven, Johnny had gained a good
deal of knowledge regarding the camp, its purpose, and its routine.
A
Little Bit Of Heaven had the ability to house one hundred and twenty
children. It was normally used
throughout the summer months by kids ages ten to sixteen who attended local
churches. These churches combined
their money to finance the upkeep of the camp.
There was a board of directors made up of sixteen people, two from each
church that co-owned the camp.
Volunteers from the churches ran the camp throughout the summer as the
children arrived in shifts for their week-long retreat that included everything
from hiking, to swimming, to arts and crafts, to Bible study. This summer those local children were
attending a church camp elsewhere in the state so A Little Bit Of Heaven could
house the Vietnamese orphans. Though
there had been heated opposition voiced by some church members because Vietnam
was such a sensitive subject at the current time, overall the majority of votes
were cast for assisting the orphans in any way possible.
Tess
told Johnny and Dixie the camp was currently home to ninety-eight
children. There had originally been one
hundred and twenty, the exact number the facility could house, but twenty-two
had been adopted or placed with their biological fathers. Before November arrived and the camp had to
be shut down due to cold weather, Tess hoped to have all the children
placed. If that didn’t happen, then
those who remained would be put in foster care.
“I
surely don’t wanna see that happen, though,” the black woman said. “I pray every day all these children will
find a home with families who want them and will give them all the love a child
deserves. Not that foster parents
aren’t good people, mind you, but it’s not the same as havin’ a real home. A permanent place to call your own.”
Johnny
soon figured out why Tess seemed to be everywhere at any given moment, and knew
everything that was going on. She
wasn’t just a cook, or the woman who assigned sleeping arrangements, but
rather, she was the camp’s director.
When Johnny questioned Tess as to how she could do all this and keep her
job at Rampart, she gave him a vague response.
“Oh,
I just took me a little leave time from the hospital.”
“I
didn’t think you’d worked there long enough to earn any kind of leave.”
“John,
when one is doing the Lord’s work then things like leave of absences, and
whether or not one is entitled to such a privilege, matters little.”
Johnny
assumed that meant Tess had either quit her job when a leave of absence wasn’t
granted, or had been fired when she refused to take no for an answer, but
didn’t question her further. He figured
it was her choice to live in this camp without benefit of an income. What she’d do when the camp closed and she
had nowhere to go wasn’t his concern.
Monica
served as the camp’s chaplain, and as well, was counselor to a cabin of four,
five, and six year old girls. The
maintenance guy named Andrew seemed nice enough. Aside from working to keep up the grounds, he often stopped what
he was doing to get in on a baseball game or a round of tag. The other maintenance man, Clay Hastings,
kept to himself. Johnny caught the guy
staring at Dixie a few times with a look in his eye the paramedic didn’t like,
but when Hastings saw John watching he’d quickly turn away. Other than Hastings, Johnny liked the
remainder of the adults he’d encountered in the camp. The counselors were young, enthusiastic, and full of energy, and
the older ladies who cooked and did the campers’ laundry were always willing to
mother a child in need of attention, or a shaggy haired paramedic, regardless
of whether Johnny thought he needed that mothering or not. True to his personality though, as Johnny
settled into the routine of the camp his natural charm began to shine through
and he quickly became a favorite of all the children and the older women.
Dixie
watched this slow transformation on Johnny’s part during their first week at
the camp. She was pleased to see the
‘old’ Johnny start to emerge as the worries and upsets that had brought him
here began to recede because of the children.
The twelve boys Johnny was in charge of depended upon him to be
everything from father, to big brother, to friend, to playmate, to
paramedic. He broke up squabbles,
wrestled, ran races, instigated water fights, joked, teased, pointed a stern
finger and gave a firm order to, “Knock it off, boys,” or “Get that bed made
now,” when needed, and bandaged scraped knees.
The
routine of the camp varied little from day to day. All the children, regardless of how young, had jobs to do. Each cabin was assigned daily chores on a rotating
basis. Aside from being responsible for
keeping their cabins cleaned, the kids took turns helping in the kitchen,
folding laundry, cleaning the locker rooms, which included dreaded latrine
duty, and weeding flower beds. Despite
that, there was still plenty of time for other activities. Each day included hiking, swimming, an arts
and crafts session, and games such as baseball, dodge ball, kick ball, capture
the flag, tag, and hide and seek. The
camp also had two-dozen old bicycles donated by the residents of Heaven. The cabins took turns using them. Johnny always made sure Dixie’s group was
assigned to make use of the bikes the same day his boys were. The nurse and paramedic would then lead the
kids on a long ride down the quiet country road that surrounded the camp, and
on two different occasions Johnny had guided them all to Heaven where he’d
bought ice cream for the entire group at the Heavenly Sensations ice cream
parlor.
After
lunch each day Tess led a thirty-minute sing-a-long, followed by thirty minutes
of English lessons as conducted by one of the college students. Finally, there
was the bonfire each night after the sun went down. Sometimes there was more singing as marshmallows were roasted,
sometimes stories were told, or sometimes they just sat quietly and watched the
fire burn, everyone tired from a long day of chores, lessons, and play.
By
his second week in Heaven, Johnny no longer thought of using the phone to call
someone to come pick him up. He had
checked on the condition of the Land Rover when he’d taken the kids and Dixie
for ice cream, but had been told by Gil both times, “Nope, she’s not ready
yet.”
“But
it doesn’t even look like you’ve done any work on it.”
“Can’t
say as I have.”
“Why
not?”
“
‘Cause Doc Ferguson says you ain’t ready to leave Heaven.”
“What
does that have to do with anything?”
“Well,
the Doc put Tess in charge of your care, and until you gain back some weight
and strengthen that leg the Doc says you ain’t goin’ no where. As of right now Tess hasn’t given the Doc
her okay for you to leave, so I guess you’ll be hangin’ around Heaven a little
while longer.”
“First
of all, Tess is not in charge of my care. I’m a paramedic. I’m
perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”
“That
might impress me if I knew what a paramedic was.”
“It’s
a--” Johnny sighed while rolling his eyes.
“Never mind. It doesn’t
matter. The doctor has no business
discussing my health with anyone, least of all you. That’s breaking doctor/patient confidentiality.”
“Well
now, I reckon it might be, but then Sam. . .Doc Ferguson, is my brother-in-law
ya’ see, so I don’t suppose he can be held too accountable for what he lets
slip out at the Sunday dinner table after his stomach is full and his eyes are
gettin’ a little droopy.”
Johnny
might have argued that point with Gil that afternoon if it hadn’t been for
Dixie and the children riding by the gas station on their bikes and beckoning
the paramedic to return to the campground with them. For whatever reason, after that day, it was no longer as
important to Johnny to leave Heaven, as it became important for him to stay.
By
then the paramedic had discovered that a freight train chugged by the
campground each morning at three a.m.
The blowing of the whistle invariably penetrated his sleep and brought
on a nightmare. He’d wake up screaming
night after night, only to have Shen Bo climb in his bed to comfort him. Johnny’s bond with the boy continued to
grow. Like Johnny himself, Shen Bo
possessed an abundance of charm and was a friend to all who met him. Therefore; it was Shen Bo who took it the
hardest whenever a child left the camp for his or her new home, or when one of
the counselors had to leave, only to be replaced by someone new. Johnny held the boy many times during the
first two weeks he was at A Little Bit Of Heaven. While the crying child was
happy that a friend was finding a permanent home, he was also heartbroken at
the thought of never seeing that friend again, and heartbroken at the thought
of being left behind with no one to love him.
When his tears would begin to slow he’d invariably ask Johnny, “Shen Bo
go to father soon, Misser Honey?” To
which Johnny would always reply quietly, “I don’t know, Bo. We’ll just have to wait and see.”
By
the start of their third week as camp counselors, Dixie noticed something about
‘Mr. Honey,’ as she teasingly called him on occasion, that she didn’t reveal to
Johnny. Physically, he was getting
stronger. He was gaining weight,
looking well rested despite the bad dreams Shen Bo had told her about, had a
healthy color to his cheeks again, plus a golden tan to go along with that
color. The scar on Johnny’s forehead
was gradually fading to the point that Dixie knew plastic surgery wouldn’t be necessary. In addition to those things, the paramedic’s
limp was far less prominent than it had been when she arrived. Dixie surmised all the physical activity -
running, biking, hiking, and swimming, had done more to help heal Johnny’s leg
than any physical therapy at Rampart ever could have. Given a couple more weeks of this type of daily exercise and
Johnny would likely be back in the type of condition that would allow Kelly
Brackett to release him to return to work.
Despite
Johnny’s reputation around Station 51 for being frugal at best, and cheap at
worst, he was very generous with “my boys” as he referred to his charges. Day trips thus far had included a bus ride
to a county fair where Tess’s budget allowed for admittance for each child, plus
two rides, one cold drink, and one treat be it cotton candy, corn on the cob,
or a taffy apple. Johnny had used his
own money to buy two additional ride tickets for his boys, and then purchased
hot dogs for them. He swore the kids to
secrecy so the other children’s feelings wouldn’t be hurt, but of course, Shen
Bo spilled the beans to Dixie the first chance he got on the bus ride back to
camp.
“And
Misser Honey buy boys dog hots, Dickie.
Shen Bo like dog hots. Put lots
of ketchup on like Misser Honey does.
And Shen Bo order Coke Cola ‘cause that what Misser Honey drink.”
Dixie
smiled at the boy from where he sat next to her in a seat at the rear of the
bus. “You really like Mr. Honey, don’t
you, sweetie?”
“Shen
Bo love him. Shen Bo live with Misser
Honey if father no come for Shen Bo.”
Dixie
frowned with concern at that comment.
“Did Mr. Honey tell you that?”
“No.” Shen Bo shook his head. “But Shen Bo know that what happen. Misser Honey - he no have wife, so he say
Shen Bo not be happy at his house. But
Shen Bo no care. No need mother if have
Misser Honey. And Shen Bo think Dickie
can marry Misser Honey, then Misser Honey have wife and Shen Bo live with
Dickie and Misser Honey, okay?”
Dixie
ran a hand through the boy’s hair while giving him a gentle smile.
“Sweetheart,
you’re a very special boy, and you’ll make some man and woman a wonderful son
very soon. I’m sure of that. But no, sweetie, Mr. Honey and I won’t be
getting married.”
“Why?”
“Because
we’re just friends.”
“But
friends love each other, no?”
“Yes,
that’s true. But it’s not the kind of
love to build a marriage around.
Johnny. . . Mr. Honey, is more like a little brother to me than a
husband. Does that make sense?”
“So
you no love Misser Honey?”
“I
do love him, but not in the way a woman loves her husband. He’s just. . .Johnny’s a very good friend to
me, Shen Bo, but he won’t be my husband.”
“I
go ask him.”
Before
Dixie could stop the boy, he charged up the bus aisle to where Johnny was
seated with two other campers from his cabin.
“Misser
Honey! Misser Honey! You marry Dickie?”
Johnny
turned around in his seat. He grinned
as he caught Dixie’s eye and saw the red circles staining her cheeks.
“I
will if she’ll have me. Do you think I
should propose?”
Shen
Bo jumped up and down. “Yes! Yes!
Ask Dickie marry you, Misser Honey!”
“Will
she say yes?”
“She
say love you like friend, not husband.
But you will be good husband, Misser Honey, and soon she love you lots
and lots.”
Johnny
laughed. “That sounds good to me. Especially the part about her giving me a
lot of lovin’.”
“Johnny!” Dixie shrieked from the back of the
bus. “Behave yourself in front of these
children.”
The
paramedic waggled his eyebrows at Dixie, laughed again, then turned in his
seat. The woman simply shook her head
at the young man, but if the truth was known she wasn’t the least bit offended
by his sexual innuendo. His sense of
humor was returning, and after what he’d been through the last few months,
Dixie McCall was going to be the last person on earth to scold him for that.
Dixie
had a feeling things were getting back on track for the paramedic the day the
kids visited a nearby fire department.
At first Johnny didn’t want to go on this particular field trip, but
Shen Bo wouldn’t hear of him remaining behind at the camp. Johnny might have ignored the child’s
pleadings and bypassed the trip if it hadn’t been for one thing. Clay Hastings. He was always the bus driver Tess assigned to Johnny’s and
Dixie’s groups, and the paramedic had a strong dislike for the way the man
ogled Dixie, not to mention how he treated the kids. Hastings kept his bad behavior in check if he thought Johnny was
watching him. Otherwise, his leering
eyes rarely strayed from Dixie, and if he could get away with it he wasn’t
beneath calling a child a ‘yellow bastard’ beneath his breath or giving a kid a
shove if no one was looking. Johnny had
yet to determine what the man’s problem was, but had surmised a strong dose of
prejudice was part of it. He also
assumed, based on the guy’s attitude, that Hastings hated his job. Andrew had told Johnny that Clay was the only
person currently paid to work at A Little Bit Of Heaven. If that was the case, Johnny didn’t
understand why the man didn’t move onto something else if being around kids
wasn’t his thing, but he supposed the need of a paycheck might have something
to do with it.
Despite Clay’s surly attitude, they arrived at the fire department without incident. Johnny hung back and remained silent as the station captain gave the children a tour. It wasn’t until Shen Bo pointed to him declaring, “Misser Honey a fireman, too!” that John was inadvertently drawn into the proceedings. The captain began questioning him on where he worked and what he did. The man was impressed when Johnny said he was a paramedic. The paramedic program hadn’t reached this rural county yet, but Captain Gleary had done extensive reading about it and was eager to gain more knowledge from someone with first hand experience. He turned the group over to one of his men and pulled Johnny into his office. When John reappeared thirty minutes later Dixie could see the old enthusiasm sparkling from his eyes for a job he loved, and so recently had been considering giving up.
On
the bus ride back to camp that day Dixie heard Shen Bo ask Johnny, “Being a
para. . .
para. . .paramedic good job, Misser
Honey?”
“You
bet, Bo. It’s one of the best jobs a
guy could have.”
“Then
Shen Bo be paramedic, too, someday.”
Johnny
didn’t try to argue the boy out of that career choice, which gave Dixie another
clue as to how much John Gage was beginning to miss his job, his home, his best
friend, and Station 51.